You’ve heard the whining. Wind Waker looks like a kid’s cartoon. Wind Waker makes you sail around too much. Wind Waker doesn’t have the burly man-Link I wanted. On November 19th, the whiners will finally shut up.

For its newest installment of the Legend of Zelda franchise, Nintendo set out to make a game that would appeal more directly to American audiences. And they succeeded. Influenced by epics like the Lord of the Rings movies, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is the game everyone has been waiting for.

The Carpal Tunnel Princess

Link is on the cusp of manhood, living the good life in the Hyrule boonies. Like the other Zelda games, he spends the first couple hours performing small favors, learning the ropes of control, occasionally chasing down an idiot goat.

But you don’t care about how Link handles a goat. You want to know – does the Wii controller work? Like a dream.

Walking around, picking up chickens, and most other things are accomplished the same way you would on the GameCube controller. Combat and projectile aiming is where the Wii controller changes things. Slashing side-to-side with your right hand gets Link to slash his sword. Shaking your left hand produces a spin attack.

Firing the boomerang, bow, or clawshot is much easier than it was at E3 2006. You can map your weapon of choice to the Wii-mote trigger. Holding the trigger produces a 1st-person view. Aim the reticle and release the trigger to fire. One special delivery of pain coming up.

Aiming freehand with the Wii-mote can be little difficult, especially for the left-handed of us. But by bracing your right hand on your knee or armrest, aiming is much easier. It’s more analogous to using a mouse than using a thumbstick.

Wii fatigue may become an issue and I’m sure there will be a spate of carpal tunnel detractors. But if you’re putting in 12 hour gaming marathons you’ll encounter hand-cramping regardless of which controller you use.

Zelda, you so emo

Link can’t throw chickens and match wits with monkeys all day, this is a Zelda game and it demands high adventure. An evil force called the Twilight soon stretches over the land, dropping Tron-like monsters from the skies and turning every man, woman, and child into ghosts.

Link is once again the thin green line between happy fun time and evil.

The Twilight problem stretches over all of Hyrule. Zelda is a haunted figure, ruling over ghostly subjects trapped in the Twilight Realm. She gives Link an ally and guide for his quest, the mysterious bratty Midna. Midna is manic, scatterbrained, and a wonderful addition to the Legend of Zelda menagerie. She balances Link who is a sober hero with a lot on his mind…missing friends, emo Princess, crazy Tron girl as his only friend, and a canine dependency.

See, whenever Link encounters the Twilight, he turns into a wolf.

Link’s life as a Furry

Playing in Link’s wolf-form is not just an interesting component to the game, it’s part of the greater motif of animals. In the wolf-form you can speak to the animals you encounter. That chicken you punted across town at the beginning of the game? Now you can go talk to her.

The wolf has similarities to Link, but is definitely a different animal. He’s more agile, he’s faster, and without hands, you’re forced to find clever ways to dig your way through puzzles. The wolf also introduces the musical element to the game with howling.

In Link’s elf-form, he also gains assistance from all manner of creature. You have your horse, a hawk you summon by whistling with blades of grass, and a gaggle of monkeys in the first dungeon. He’s like Hyrule’s own Dr. Doolittle. *You can insert your Eddie Murphy picking up a transvestite hooker joke here.*

Little Link grew up to be a badass

Sure Link has always been well armed with mystical swords, mirror shields and the like, but he has never been a warrior like this. Combat is engaging, natural, and more physical than ever before because the Wii controller forces you to urge Link on with your own flailings.

As the game progresses, your fighting repertoire grows by learning new moves from a long-dead soldier. Like the kill move. Link leaps into the air and plants his sword down the gullet of a fallen enemy. It’s still bloodless, but the combat has an intensity not seen before in the Legend of Zelda series.

About 7 hours in we reach our first holy $#!@ moment – that sequence with the Warthog riding Goblin you saw in trailers. Chasing that s-o-b down, thrashing the Wii controller to peel him out of his armor, and finally dueling him atop a precarious bridge. The sequence is brilliant and for the first time Link is the everyelf-turned-warrior we always knew he could be.

Can I get those Iron Boots in a size 7?

Combat is only half of the Zelda equation. The dungeons are massive and full of deadly puzzles. As you gather your retinue of items you are forced to use them in ever more clever ways. The Iron Boots plus magnetic rock puzzles equals awesome.

While the game is more linear than Wind Waker, it is massive. There is a huge variety to the game, from fishing mini-games to rodeo wrangling to seriously creepy vibes found in the Twilight. Twilight Princess is also more difficult than its cartoony predecessor. You will lose your life for 50 hours plus.

Link are you feeling well? You look kind of current gen

The attention to detail is fantastic, Link flips his sword as he’s running, his clothes smolder after a tussle with a flaming arrow, your horse even feels like a living creature. But Nintendo wasn’t kidding when they said the focus of the Wii would be gameplay not graphical power. Twilight Princess feels like a handsome GameCube game, but that’s all.

And while Twilight Princess effectively channels the visual feel of an epic, it’s less inspired than previous incarnations. And we can’t shake the feeling that they watched Peter Jackson’s movies a few too many times.

Rage against the Dying of the Twilight

In many ways, Twilight Princess is a love letter to Ocarina of Time. There are tons of subtle nods that a watchful gamer will spot. It’s the glorious world the N64 wanted to show us, but couldn’t.

Link makes the ladies swoon, but he also inspires heroism and hope in those he meets. From a child who risks his life to save his friend to Zelda’s quiet faith in Link’s abilities, you feel like you can make a difference in Hyrule. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is some serious fun.

At least as serious as a grown man wearing tights can be.

Article by: Michael Leffler
Video produced by: Michael Leffler