For younger gamers and fans of gender-confused cattle, THQ gives us Barnyard, the game based on the movie about life, love, and hermaphroditic livestock. As the latest in a summer barrage of CGI movie madness, Barnyard is a brief window into a parallel universe where George Orwell was one extremely easy-going guy.

Udder Madness!

To anyone over the age of about four, the first thing that will strike viewers about any of the endless parade of Barnyard-related paraphernalia is the fact that someone went a little crazy with the use of udders. Apparently, the farm where the game and movie take place is actually a strange genetic research site, obsessively bent with making sure that every bovine--whether bull or cow—produces milk. Try not to think about the implications of that too much… Ugh, too late.

Udders aside, Barnyard looks surprisingly good. The farm and all the animals have a lively, CGI-animated look to match the movie, although the graphics aren’t especially sharp. The voice acting and music is amusing, and most of the characters you’ll interact with are humorous. One thing that might bog down young players is sheer amount of dialogue required to get new objectives.

For the wee gamers out there Barnyard should hold a distinct appeal. The game is rated E10+, but ten is probably the uppermost age for potential players. Anyone older might find all the moo-time madness overwhelming, with uncomfortably gender-based questions.

Not So Mad Cows

As a kids game, however, Barnyard has a lot to offer. One of the key features that should be in a lot more of these sorts of games is the ability to create your own cow--even a girl cow--which makes all the milking parts seem a bit less freaky. The other big draw is that the whole farm is available to explore. While some parts require keys to unlock gates, the ability to wander about the farm mostly as you want makes the otherwise completely standard gameplay more interesting.

While the game world certainly isn’t Grand Theft Auto size, it’s big enough to have plenty of distractions for youngsters. The major characters, plenty of minor characters, and locales from the movie are all here. While the game isn’t so much interested in retelling the movie’s plot as it is in throwing lots of stuff to do at the player, this premise works well, despite the fact that this myriad of tasks makes finding new objectives somewhat troublesome at times.

Most of the goals require you to find new people to talk to. The other animals will ask you for help, or challenge you to a mini-game. There are 16 mini-games ranging from pigpen games, bike challenges, or the ever popular ‘tease the mailman’.

Extreme Cow Tricks

To help your cow get around the large landscape faster, you can hop on a bicycle and pedal. The farm is full of potential extreme cow jumps though the bike is somewhat troublesome in tight spots and turning it around takes a little too much back and forth maneuvering. Thankfully, you seldom have to worry about taking damage from crashes in the game, and the bike controls feel surprisingly fluid most of the time.

When traveling on hoof, your cow’s actions include jumping, kicking objects to get coins and other goodies, and squirting milk on things (something else that doesn’t bear too much contemplation). The controls are simple and easy to get into, so anyone who has ever played a third person action game will instantly know what to do. The mini-games include simple instructions before starting as well, and usually focus on simple button controls.

Back to the Barn

Quaint graphics, recognizable characters, easy gameplay, and many mini-games give Barnyard some staying power with its target audience. For older gamers, the game is entirely standard and boring. While it has a few commendable qualities that give it a leg up over many other children’s games we’ve seen, it definitely doesn’t manage to break the age barrier and appeal to gamers young and old.

Article by: Jason D’Aprile