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60 Seconds of Epic: The Byzantine Empire Sucks!

Posted: April 9, 2010
60 Seconds of Epic: The Byzantine Empire Sucks!
http://www.g4tv.com/videos/45257/60-seconds-of-epic-the-byzantine-empire-sucks/
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Video_45257

Olivia Munn brings her 60 seconds of pure epic-ness with a special rant about the Byzantine Empire. Two words: it sucked! Read your history books. It did!


 

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  • jiykong

    O.o Seriously.... WTH XD. I was surfing the web for any byzantine documentary and this is what I get XD?

    Let me lay down the utter wrongness of the 100% uncultured bigotry of this video. (I know this vid was posted months ago.) But Can't Let This Great Empire Be Wrongly Judged by some Idiot who probably only looked at the size of the country and figured, Hey They look like they're shrinking over 1000 years... Slowly...

    1. Byzantines ARE ROMAN!!!! The only reason why they're called byzantines is because of the racisim towards the the Greeks by the Medieval Western Europeans. The west looked on the Greeks like the Middle East Does with the West. They believe they're sinful, extravagant, and most importantly NOT Catholics and they were in many ways jealous, Kings of the west looked at Constantinople and probably thought to themselves, "man my dick's so small" So they rejected the empire's claim to their Roman heritage even though they ruled with a continued line of succession since the beginning of Rome and called it the Greek Empire, but modern Historians decided that Greek's not right and since Roman's going too far for themselves, we'll name it Byzantines after the city Byzantium, AKA Constantinople.

    2. Byzantine's weren't lazy. Do you know how many wars they fought? If you actually read history, the Byzantines only had at most 20 years of ACTUAL peace. Even then they had to fight off persians, arabs, lombards, pechnegs, normans, italians, turks, and countless other raiders. So much more than any Western Europeans had to fight. To put it into better perspective, its because of the Byzantines that you aren't muslims right now because the if Byzantines fell to the muslims then the Muslims move the base to Constantinople and over run the Barbaric Western Europe.

    3. 4th crusade... Wow... Here's the real story: CHRISTIAN Army said they're going to Jerusalem suddenly decides that they'll betray their christian brethren just because they realize that Constantinople, the biggest/richest/most famous city in Europe, was open to attack only because the people of Constantinople probably thought Good Luck in Jerusalem~... Wow... What a way to contradict your religious vows.

    4. Let me tell you how cultured this society was. Everybody knew how to read and write, all the kids went to church and the church would take the responsibility of making sure that everyone knew how to read by using the bible and the classic greek literature. If you were talented or had enough money there was an actual university funded by the state that taught philosophy, math, logic, science, law, etc. Constantinople Was essentially the New York City of the time and with the Harvard of its time, sadly 99% of their art work/books went Poof because of the 4th crusade, one that survived are the 4 horse of st. mark of venice, if you ever had a look at it you'd probably think about how many more artwork they had that are now melted down. One was said to be of Golden Statue of Jesus...

    5. The reason why Turks renamed Constantinople to Istanbul is to slowly alter cultural history of the city. Constantinople is in many ways the Jerusalem of the Greeks and the fact that the turks literally acted the same way the Spaniard did to the Native Americans and committed genocide on the Christian population of Asian Minor during WWI doesn't permanently legitimize their holdings. The only way to fix it is to rename it like they did with 99% of the Greek Cities in Asian Minor. Its succeeding, from the way you commented about the history of this great empire that wasn't caught up by the west until the renaissance and existed for more than 1000 years and 1500 if you actually include the Entire Roman History in constant warfare. Your comments of bigotry is already showing that the world only has only a couple of centuries left until the name Constantinople or maybe even Greece's entire Existence in Asia Minor goes down the toliet.

    Oh Comment about putting Olivia putting the Byzantines on the map, Sir If a celebrity commented that a restaurant sucked BALLS and their food tasted like manure would you go and eat their?

    Posted: October 4, 2010 5:39 PM
    jiykong
  • jiykong

    O.o Seriously.... WTH XD. I was surfing the web for any byzantine documentary and this is what I get XD?

    Let me lay down the utter wrongness of the 100% uncultured bigotry of this video. (I know this vid was posted months ago.) But Can't Let This Great Empire Be Wrongly Judged by some Idiot who probably only looked at the size of the country and figured, Hey They look like they're shrinking over 1000 years... Slowly...

    1. Byzantines ARE ROMAN!!!! The only reason why they're called byzantines is because of the racisim towards the the Greeks by the Medieval Western Europeans. The west looked on the Greeks like the Middle East Does with the West. They believe they're sinful, extravagant, and most importantly NOT Catholics and they were in many ways jealous, Kings of the west looked at Constantinople and probably thought to themselves, "man my dick's so small" So they rejected the empire's claim to their Roman heritage even though they ruled with a continued line of succession since the beginning of Rome and called it the Greek Empire, but modern Historians decided that Greek's not right and since Roman's going too far for themselves, we'll name it Byzantines after the city Byzantium, AKA Constantinople.

    2. Byzantine's weren't lazy. Do you know how many wars they fought? If you actually read history, the Byzantines only had at most 20 years of ACTUAL peace. Even then they had to fight off persians, arabs, lombards, pechnegs, normans, italians, turks, and countless other raiders. So much more than any Western Europeans had to fight. To put it into better perspective, its because of the Byzantines that you aren't muslims right now because the if Byzantines fell to the muslims then the Muslims move the base to Constantinople and over run the Barbaric Western Europe.

    3. 4th crusade... Wow... Here's the real story: CHRISTIAN Army said they're going to Jerusalem suddenly decides that they'll betray their christian brethren just because they realize that Constantinople, the biggest/richest/most famous city in Europe, was open to attack only because the people of Constantinople probably thought Good Luck in Jerusalem~... Wow... What a way to contradict your religious vows.

    4. Let me tell you how cultured this society was. Everybody knew how to read and write, all the kids went to church and the church would take the responsibility of making sure that everyone knew how to read by using the bible and the classic greek literature. If you were talented or had enough money there was an actual university funded by the state that taught philosophy, math, logic, science, law, etc. Constantinople Was essentially the New York City of the time and with the Harvard of its time, sadly 99% of their art work/books went Poof because of the 4th crusade, one that survived are the 4 horse of st. mark of venice, if you ever had a look at it you'd probably think about how many more artwork they had that are now melted down. One was said to be of Golden Statue of Jesus...

    5. The reason why Turks renamed Constantinople to Istanbul is to slowly alter cultural history of the city. Constantinople is in many ways the Jerusalem of the Greeks and the fact that the turks literally acted the same way the Spaniard did to the Native Americans and committed genocide on the Christian population of Asian Minor during WWI doesn't permanently legitimize their holdings. The only way to fix it is to rename it like they did with 99% of the Greek Cities in Asian Minor. Its succeeding, from the way you commented about the history of this great empire that wasn't caught up by the west until the renaissance and existed for more than 1000 years and 1500 if you actually include the Entire Roman History in constant warfare. Your comments of bigotry is already showing that the world only has only a couple of centuries left until the name Constantinople or maybe even Greece's entire Existence in Asia Minor goes down the toliet.

    Oh Comment about putting Olivia putting the Byzantines on the map, Sir If a celebrity commented that a restaurant sucked BALLS and their food tasted like manure would you go and eat their?

    Posted: October 4, 2010 5:33 PM
    jiykong
  • brotherTodd

    This, really, is nobody's business but the Turks...

    Posted: April 13, 2010 11:30 AM
    brotherTodd
  • leorndl22

    wow Just got to love epic april, people get it so much over their heads, look at the good side, thanks to our precious olivia and this wonderful epic video half of your friends know that a place called "Byzantine Empire" actually exists. Just be thankful

    Posted: April 12, 2010 5:28 PM
    leorndl22
  • alan2727m

    i want to eat allison's pie too, lol

    Posted: April 12, 2010 5:27 PM
    alan2727m
  • Buzzerker74

    calm down dorks, it was only a joke.

    Posted: April 12, 2010 4:56 AM
    Buzzerker74
  • master_peterm

    oh yea and the "churches" that were shown where actually mosques by the dirty Arabs.... the Byzantine Empire also created the largest building at the time Hagia Sophia

    Posted: April 11, 2010 1:15 PM
    master_peterm
  • master_peterm

    actually the Byzantine Empire was more advanced then western Europe at the time. And the reason they call themselves the Eastern Roman Empire is because of the Roman Emperor who lived there after the split in the empire!......Olivia you are such a noob

    Posted: April 11, 2010 1:12 PM
    master_peterm
  • Ricky_D

    Olivia, you just summed up my three months of my Crusades course. Could you write my final? It's just a 20 page min.

    Posted: April 10, 2010 3:56 PM
    Ricky_D
  • BlackLable69

    Oooooooo nice.....ahum..yeah sounds like what America is starting to become more & more with each passing day. Don't be so trusting though with world history as many things are often left out or re-written. & yes there are echos left in place from the past but people only question the obvious or famous landmarks. The same could be said about most of the worlds religions. & here in America over the ages people have become so complacent with technology & knowledge "Almost at the speed of thought" that we readily absorb it without questioning it. But then what else is there to do? Ponder on that for a while & you might surprise yourself. "Good examples would be celebrities & old long gone relatives" both of which people often gossip & twist the reality behind their lives. If its so difficult for most people to keep information accurate about said thing then what about world history?

    Posted: April 10, 2010 11:27 AM
    BlackLable69
  • Scarfo

    LOL! I wish my World History teacher was as Epic as Olivia in explaining the Byzantine Empire! =)

    Posted: April 10, 2010 5:42 AM
    Scarfo
  • cjedee

    punk ass byzantine bitches!!! and i want olivia to watch while while i eat alisons pie!

    Posted: April 9, 2010 8:47 PM
    cjedee
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