In Your Pants: 3.25.08

Posted: March 25, 2008
In Your Pants: 3.25.08

Everyone's favorite pretty lady who talks about sexual issues is back! Anna David will be here live in the studio to answer your questions.

Here's what Anna David has to say about herself:

"Anna David has been on staff at Premiere and Parenting, was a fulltime freelancer at People, wrote a sex and relationship column for Razor, and has also been published in Details, Playboy, Cosmo, Maxim, Stuff, Redbook, Teen Vogue, The LA Times, Vanity Fair, Variety, People, Us Weekly, TV Guide,The New York Post, Tatler, Esquire UK, Movieline, LA Confidential, Vegas, and Ocean Drive, among many others.

She's a pop culture expert for The Today Show, appears regularly on Fox Reality Channel's Reality Remix, and has also been featured on ESPN's Cold Pizza, Fox's The Best Damn Sports Show Period, NBC's The Other Half, The Style Network's Modern Girl's Guide to Life, and a collection of shows on VH1 and E! Her first novel, Party Girl, is out now." Read on to see her answers to today's questions.

As soon as I sleep with a girl, I totally lose all interest in her. Then I just move on to another one and repeat the whole cycle. I’ve been in love before, and would like to again, but this keeps happening. What should I do to try and stay interested?
I don’t think you're alone in this predicament and I think it's brave of you to admit it because many men (and women) continuously act out this scenario without ever realizing that it's not healthy or that they should try to change. I believe that the key step you can take is to really cut down on the number of girls you sleep with and how long you tend to date them before you do. If you can get to know a girl for a few months and delay the time you actually do the deed, then you're probably forcing yourself to stay put for longer than you normally would.

But I believe that people who behave like this are addicted to the chase and romance and are terrified of actual intimacy. Which means that your true test begins when you sleep with her and feel yourself wanting to run for the hills. That's when you should take a look at the feelings that come up. My guess is that what you feel right then is fear -- although fear doesn't always come up as "I'm scared."

Sometimes fear is disguised as "I'm just not that into her" or "I'm bored." But if you challenge your initial feelings and stay past the point that you're comfortable, I believe you can stop this pattern and fall in love again.



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