Feel like celebrating Valentine’s Day, but don’t feel like watching another mushy film with Meg Ryan in it? Don’t worry, listed below are five films for the anti-Valentine. Some of the movies are actually about Valentine’s Day, and some just have “Valentine” in the title. Regardless, they won’t have you depressed about your love life afterwards, and that’s all that matters.

Valentine (2001)
This movie is definitely meant for the anti-Valentine. It may revolve around Valentine’s Day, but there’s no lovey-dovey stuff going on in this film. It’s a B-rated slasher flick that stars hot chicks (Denise Richards, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Cauffiel, Mary Shelton and Jessica Capshaw) and that dude from Buffy and Angel. It’s about five friends who receive creepy Valentines from an anonymous fan. After two of the girls meet an unfortunate death, which leaves one of them with their throat sliced in a body bag, the other three suspect that the killer may be a nerdy former classmate from high school who they all dissed at a Valentine’s Day dance. What to do? Throw another Valentine’s Day party of course to try to lure the ex-classmate out of hiding since no one knows what he looks like now. He may have had plastic surgery to turn into one of the girls' handsome new boyfriends? Crazy, huh? This isn’t an Oscar-worthy movie, or even a cult-classic, but it’s a fun flick to get your mind off that girl who never called you back. Just don’t get any foolish ideas, okay?

Caveman’s Valentine (2001)
Who would have thought two movies would come out in the same exact year revolving around Valentine’s Day? Not me, but apparently the movie studios did. However, the movie studios didn’t benefit financially at all from either movie. That’s not to say you shouldn’t watch this movie, just don’t put too much time and effort into it. No more effort than cracking open a bottle of bubbly and downing some chocolates to ease the pain, that is. Just in case that peaked your interest, this movie is about Romulus (Samuel L. Jackson) who is a mentally ill homeless person living in a New York City park. On Valentine's Day, a man is found frozen to death in a tree near the cave he lives in. The police determine it's an accidental death, even though Romulus believes that the guy was murdered. Romulus, even though he’s crazy and has no place to call home, decides to solve the murder on his own. Again, this flick isn’t great, but it is beautifully shot with the lights and images and should be watched for that alone.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)
What is it with Valentine’s Day and slasher flicks? Apparently, mushy holidays bring out the killer in all of us. Does Hallmark make a card for that? Probably not. Anyway, this film is about a small mining town who decide to have a Valentine’s Day party for the first time in 20 years. Why 20 years? Well, you see there was a terrible accident in the mine, and the accident happened because the men responsible for the security of the mine left their post to attend the party instead. The sole surviving miner winds up killing the other miners, and leaves a message to the town to never have another Valentine party again. So, what does the town do? They decide to have a Valentine’s party after 20 years of no killings. And what starts to happen after the party is announced? The killings start up again. Wow! I didn’t see that one coming. And you probably wouldn’t normally see this movie, but hey it’s Valentine’s Day take one for the team (it’s better than going out with your friend’s girlfriend’s sister’s cousin who looks like Howard Stern, right?).

The St. Valentine Day’s Massacre (1967)
This movie, unlike the other three mentioned, is actually a pretty good film. It’s a documentary-esque depiction of the infamous 1929 shooting of seven Chicago mobsters known as “The St. Valentine Day’s Massacre.” Jason Robards stars as mob boss Al Capone and Raplh Meeker plays his rival Bugsy Moran. And if you look really hard, you’ll see small parts played by Jack Nicholson and Bruce Dern. This movie is fast-moving and actually quite interesting if you’re into that whole gangster history. The St. Valentine Day’s Massacre was considered kinda violent when released in 1967, but it’s not so bad now after you’ve seen stuff like Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro kicking and shooting a man to death in Goodfellas. But it is still entertaining and educational, all in one.

Sugar Valentine (2004)
Sugar Valentine is another gangster film, but this time it’s more of a gansta film and has absolutely nothing to do with Valentine’s Day – except that “Valentine is in the title.” This movie is also based on a true story like the above mentioned film. It’s about a man named Sugar Valentine who is born into the life of a pimp, but wants to get out of it because for the first time he falls in love (I guess love can relate to Valentine’s Day, huh?). What makes the film even more interesting, in case you weren’t there yet, it also includes documentary interviews with prostitutes from the neighborhood of the real-life Sugar Valentine. A definite underground classic waiting to happen.