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Webmaster Hates You

The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

From: jason b
Sent: Monday, May 29, 2006 4:43 AM
To:webmaster
Subject: need some help

hello i have a freind who is all hook up thinking? a new cell phone call italk for apple i keep telling? him is fake? but i? need show him a eamil or some to prove him wrong if the cell phone is real you will see ad's come out on it? just like ps3 he siad italk come out as nov. too??? thank you for time have good day? jason b

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The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

From: yodadude
Sent: Sunday, April 23, 2006 1:17 PM
To: webmaster
Subject: Re: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

are there any benefits of having an account for gftv.com?

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The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

From: cheerios3061
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 4:47 PM
To: webmaster
Subject: Axl Rose

READ!!!!!

I don't know who she is but on a show of yours called "attack of whatever" the host said Axl Rose got botox! No he did not his hair being pulled back is what makes him look different. You dumb fux don't even know the story! Tommy is a psycho and hit Axl when Axl was kindly trying to save Tommy's girlfriend's drink from spilling. Tom should have thanked him but instead flipped out for no reason. He was probably afraid of losing his girlfriend to a brilliant rockstar and wanted to look tough! Anyway shut your mouths about Axl cause you don't know what the hell your talking about!!! Your channel sux!

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The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

To: webmaster

Subject: Site Too Complex

Like most everyone in the gaming world your website is so complex as to be assanine You need to be more logical/scientific/objective and less artistic/subjective. All this flash and java junk is for the birds. You are discriminating against academic freedom.

Sincerely;

Geoff

?

To: Geoff

Subject: Site Too Complex

Dear Geoff,

Academia is a flexible bullet. On the one hand, one must stay current with the philosophy of the times, if one is to remain on the bleeding edge of the learning process. Where would the scientific world be had we rejected the complexities of the Venn diagram or the Bohr model, simply because they were "assanine?" What would become of geometry had we failed to adopt the Pythagorean Theorem, just because it was too subjective?

Such is the morass we find ourselves in when contemplating the flow of out website. Are we expected to remain dormant in the face of such technology, simply because we may risk offending those who have yet to adopt a 21st Century attitude toward the interwebs? This is a medium based almost solely on the growth of such technology, and one, as an entity in this particular space, must either adapt to these changes or die on the vine, metaphorically speaking.

Trust, dearest Geoff, that your academic freedom is well and truly intact in our hands, and that your learning to embrace the change will be a rhapsodic by-product of our evolution. One that we look forward to sharing with you as you finally re-emerge into the new-model lifestyle that comes with our times.

Also, you could just pony up and pay for a broadband connection and a faster processor, you cheap bastard.

Yours, from the hallow'ed halls of G4,

The Webmaster, Ph. D.

?

The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

From: Janglez Juggalo

Subject: FANS VERY ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yea i Just Watched a Show On G4tv Reviewing Resident Evil Deadly Silience On The Nintendo DS and you guys are full of s**t!!! THE GAME IS ONE OF THE BEST GAMES ON DS!!! YOU GAVE IT 2 OUT OF 5 HOW?COULD YOU???????

Its More like a 5 out of 5 !!!!

Just Because its A Remake you wanna talk s**t! I have every RE title and I Say Its Up There next to RE4!! the only thing thats going down the toilet is YOU G4! Adam Sesler SUCKZ!!!! Get Some Real Hosts!!!! That Actually Play Video Games!!!

AND DROP THE CORNY JOKES THEY ARE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also I Noticed On x-play YOU MAKE SNAKE FROM MGS3 LOOK LIKE A F*G THATS F****N BULLS**T!!!! DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE F*****G G*Y THESE DAYS!!!!!!! JUST DROP IT F*GS ARE NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU G4!!!!!

YOU EVEN DECIDED TO TALK SH*T ABOUT TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES F**K THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE WAY BIGGER AND BETTER THAN ANYTHING ON G4 I WILL WATCH MY TMNT DVDS OVER AND OVER BEFORE I WOULD WATCH ANYTHING AGIAN ON G4 TV !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You always Have To Talk S**t About Everything Thats Not Playstation!!!!!! And Im Tierd Of That S**t!!! the only good show i see on G4 is ICONS Because there is No Dumb Ass ADAM SESLER AND MORGAN WEBB maybe if They Wouldnt Make Corny Jokes And Talk Sh*t About every Game That Comes There Way.. Maybe they would be "ok" Yea RIGHT!!! ?HaHaHaHAHA!!!! Come on G4 Get Some Real Hosts! everyone hates A S AND M W !!!! I thought G4 TV Was For Games Not corny Kids Jokes?

So There You Have IT G4 you Have Put Down Every Game I Like!!!! MGS, RE , TMNT

i suggest you stop talkin bad about games?It Will Be Your Downfall!!? I WANT AN OPOLGY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF I HEAR ONE?P*SS?JOKE ABOUT NINTENDO "WII" FROM G4?IM DONE WITH YOU ALL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and dont forget im watching you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

?

To: Janglez Juggalo

Sent: Thursday, May 5th, 12:00 PM?

From: webmaster

Subject: FANS VERY ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Mr. Juggalo,

May I call you Janglez? Thanks. Jan, let me say that I appreciate the volume of your anger, as evidenced by the number of exclamation points you used to illustrate it. Whew! Rarely have I seen something so punctuated! It's almost as if your rage flies off the page.

Now, you and I are not so different. Perhaps we're both enjoying a 2-liter of Faygo Cola as we speak. So, I hear you. I understand, Jan. So, you need an opology. Obviously you're hurt over your love of the Resident Evil series, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That Michelangelo is something, ain't he? The way they eat that pizza! Mein Gott, those turtles! What will they think of next? So, I suppose an opology is in order. Let me put it in a way you'll understand...

WE Don'T HATE ON RE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ADAM SESLER IS JUST A MAN DOING A JOB, And morgan wEbb is Just Delivering The JoKes as WriTTen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SNAKE IS A CHARACTER IN A GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We Don't Juge Him On His Sectuality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, as for your crypic messages (Re: It Will Be Your Downfall!!!!!; and dont forget i'm watching you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), it's clear you're connected with a higher power. We certainly didn't mean to offend, or bring about imminent downfall. As fans of the ICP, can't we just agree to disagree? Let's toast some Faygo together and talk like Juggalos. Your suggestion about us talkin' bad about games you like? Taken. Perhaps we could do an alternate viewpoint. Games For the Ultimate Juggalo would be a series of reviews written just for fellas like you and me, Jan. I'll take it up with management. I'm sure they'll understand.

Until then, please keep watching, and, oh, yeah. Can you handle Nintendo's Wii??Time will tell, my friend, time will tell.

In the words of our hero, Shaggy 2 Dope, "The Gathering is Coming!"

Stay Juggy.

The Webmaster

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The Webmaster's Fantasy

popculturekilla
5 Comments

Posted May 3, 2006 - By F M

The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

From: nowziddy
Sent: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:26 PM
To: webmaster
Subject: Re: Final Fantasy

Hi, when will a show be coming on based on Final Fantasy.

To: nowziddy
Sent: Wednesday, May 5, 2006 2:26 PM
From: webmaster
Subject: Final Fantasy

Um...when you go and make one, ya lazy bastard! What, we gotta make a show out of every friggin' game that YOU like? Wake up, hippy! It costs money to make these things! What else do you wanna see a show based on? Frogger? Pong? Dig Dug? Sonicthe friggin'Hedgehog? God, I hate you people with your stupid little dreams and inspired fantasies! Go die. Die die die!!!!

?

From: chris
Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2006 6:30 PM
To: webmaster
Subject: Re: RE: RE: RE: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

are u able to send cheats directly to me or r u not allowed to?

--------------------
This message was sent from a Sprint PCS Phone.

From: Webmaster
Sent: Friday, April 28, 2006 7:30 AM
To: Chris
Subject: Re: RE: RE: RE: RE: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

Chris,

I thought I made it clear that you were never supposed to contact me using this address! You are right: I was not ALLOWED to send those cheat codes to you directly and now my cover might be blown! Alas,?they can never know about our communications and they are monitoring?this channel. I must seek refuge right away. . .away from their prying eyes.

I don't know if or when I'll be able to contact you again with the codes you so desperately need that you absolutely cannot find using Google. I know that we have never met in person, Chris, but just know this, they are watching and they have powers beyond all your comprehension! They have the ability to make people just disappear and they will be coming for you, so wat

--------------------

The Webmaster Hates You

popculturekilla
4 Comments

Posted April 26, 2006 - By F M

The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

From: cosby2cas
Sent: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 11:02 AM
To: webmaster
Subject: Re: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

I was wondering the Spock Market is pretend right? It doesn't involve real money?

From: webmaster
Sent: Wednesday, April 26, 2006 10:02 AM
To: cosby2cas
Subject: Re: You're an idiot

Actually the Spock Market is very real. Allow me to explain. The New York Spock Exchange is the largest public Spock Market in the world, and is the?home to many of the largest and best-known American companies. The NYSE is probably what you picture when you think about?the "Spock Market," lots of people running around in colored shirts, with pointy ears, gesticulating wildly with their hands, scribbling wisdom on notepads. It's an auction-based market, with intermediaries who match buyers and sellers of Spocks. Once a Spock has gone public, its shares are bought and sold on organized Spock Markets. These are the specialists, and it's their job to match buyers and sellers of a particular Spock.

Behind the frenzied spectacle is a methodical and organized system of trading, in which the price of any Spock is set purely by rule of supply and demand in an auction setting. Specialists help match buyers and sellers, but shares are always sold to the highest bidder. Every day, you can tune in to your TV to see reports from the floor of the New York Spock Exchange, or to see the ringing of the bell to signal the beginning and end of the trading day.

Does that better explain it to you??If you want a tip from someone who cares,?you should invest you're entire personal savings in the Spock Exchange if you know what's good for you. You're welcome in advance..


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Existentialism

sjohnson
1 Comment

Posted April 25, 2006 - By Stephen Johnson

The Webmaster Hates You is a daily Feed feature in which the webmaster answers your email. Isn't that fun?

From: Batman The Great [mailto:perryman302@XXX.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 4:57 PM
To: webmaster
Subject: Re: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

What is your favorite color?!

From: webmaster
Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 5:59 PM
To: 'Batman The Great'
Subject: RE: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation

irony

If you'd like to email the webmaster, click here.?
?

The Webmaster Hates You is a semi-regular Feed feature in which the Webmaster answers your email. Enjoy.

To: Webmaster
Sent: Friday, April 13, 2006 9:07 AM
From: Uzi87
Subject: You Suck!

I been watch'n this network for as long as I can remember and it been change'n a lot. Jugdement Day is gone, I barely see Eletric Playground or don't see it at all, and all this these other gamer shows that I can't even remember because thats how much G4 has changed. Now they'er bringing a new host on Filter. They just killed it for me because I liked Diane Mizota. This network is die, is not even about games anymore like every says. The only show about game is X-PLay and sooner or later is going to taken off. And thats when will know that G4 is dead.

Dear Uzi87,

Your comments have hurted us to bone. We been chang'n to make happy you. It's hard hearing your network is die, especially when your network die is where you work. We love'n X-Play, and I'm not sure that sooner or later is going to taken off. But, will know that G4 is dead is importn't information. We watch'n what say you. We pay'n attention.

Love,

Webmaster

This special edition of The Webmaster Hates You features nerdcore hip-hopper?Beefy who wrote:

From: Beefy

Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2006 10:35 PM

To: webmaster

Subject: broken

I think I broke something when trying to make a picture link in my sig. I was unaware of the awesome yet destructive power of it. Please help a brotha out.

-Beefy

Dear Beefy, I don't know how to solve your problem, and I can't possibly be bothered to try to figure it out, but I want to help you in your rap career, so I played your music in the office. According to our resident hip hop expert Popculturekilla, Beefy is "funny, but extremely wack." Dvinson, in an out-of-character moment of kindness proclaimed Internet Celebrity "a good song" that she actually likes.?Mdalonzo said your album is "bad, but bad like that's-the-point bad," but concedes that Internet Celebrity has a killer hook. So there you have it.

If you're interested in Beefy and the whole nerdcore hip-hop thing, go to beefyness.com, or for a broader overview of the whole nerdcore scene, download this comp. album upon which Beefy appears.

Sorry I can't help you with that photo thing, man. I'm really really lazy.

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The Webmaster Hates You is a semi-regular Feed feature in which the Webmaster answers your email. Enjoy.

From: rochelle?
Sent: Thursday, April 13, 2006 9:07 AM
To:webmaster
Subject: Re: Your G4tv.com Registration Confirmation


dear g4

????? can you send me a picture of a psp?

thank you

Dear Rochelle: Sure thing!

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