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New legislation proposed by West Virginia Senator Jay Rockefeller (through your tax dollars) would allow governmental regulation of violence on broadcast television, cable and satellite television.

The law will give new powers to the FCC, Broadcasting & Cable reported yesterday.

Rockefeller, The Democratic Chairman of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence*, will reportedly try to draft a law that will pass constitutional scrutiny. That first amendment can be a tricky thing to circumvent.

Whether the legislation would cover violent news reports about wars remains to be seen. But in any case, TheFeed thanks Jay Rockefeller for  protecting us from pretend evils that live inside the television.

IMDB: New Law Would Bar Violence on Broadcast, Cable, Satellite

 *Seriously! Intelligence!

Two unidentified men robbed a GameStop in Orange Country, Florida on Tuesday, rushing in just after the manager opened for business. Holding him at gunpoint, they filled their duffel bags with PS3s, Xbox360s, Wiis, and assorted games before grabbing the security tape to maintain their anonymity. Their apprehension of the security footage has lead local police to believe they were either professionals or it was an inside job.

While preparing to leave, the hoodlums had a moment of realization and decided to take all the cash in the register and safe. Cash as an afterthought? During an armed robbery? Obviously we're looking for two very short-minded criminals, or some ambitious yet not so bright strip-mall employees, and since this happened in Florida, that covers just about everyone.

JoyStiq: Robbing a GameStop for the games of course

Basketball superstar Shaquille O'Neal is a on a quest to help fat kids get in shape as part of a new reality television show. Today, he came out and said that videogames make kids pudgy.

His argument is one we've heart a thousand times over that kids sacrifice time they would normally spend playing outdoors for gaming time in front of the boob tube.

Shaq also claimed that our "fast food society" makes kids fat. Really Shaq? You think? How come there are still plenty of skinny kids mucking about, doing numerous activities, including playing games? Videogames and fast food don't make kids fat; parents and guilt makes kids fat. Everyone knows that.

Ok, Shaq. We'll give you that while kids could be running around in the carbon emission-filled air, they are instead enjoying the comfort of air conditioning and a directional pad, but that still doesn't explain your horrible comedy feature film Kazaam.

Maybe you don't know what you're talking about.

PC Advisor: Gamers are Fat

You've got to be pretty nerdy to spend any time at all thinking about where Middle-earth is in the real world. To spend enough time to actually determine where it is...oh, well, that takes a special brand of nerdiness that should reserve you a wing in the Hall of Fame. Yet, here it is. The information you've all been waiting for. Where was Tolkien's Middle-earth on a map of actual Earth?

Start with England and then work your way out. That's the epicenter of the whole Lord of the Rings universe. Of course, from working backward (starting with The Shire) it's easier to determine where everything in the universes correspond. Ok, so we'll admit that it's kinda neat, but still...c'mon, nerds. Put those giant brains to a purpose!

Strange Maps: 121 - Where On Earth Was Middle-earth?

China Censors 'Pirates'

gentle
14 Comments

Posted June 17, 2007 - By juster

China, long a place where hope and free speech go to die, has censored Johnny Depp's latest good-time seafaring romp because it "villifies and defaces the chinese".

Hong Kong star Chow Yun-Fat portrays the roll of pirate lord Captain Sao Feng.  Local magazine Popular Cinema says:

"The captain played by Chow is bald, his face heavily scarred. He also has a long beard and long nails, whose image is still in line with Hollywood's old tradition of demonizing the Chinese."

Chow Yun-Fat's screentime was cut from ten minutes down to five.

They also cut a line where Yun-Fat says "Welcome to Singapore" because it hints Singapore is a land of pirates...

If China is going to take over the world soon, they better grow a thicker skin.

Rueters: China censors "Pirates" for "vilifying Chinese"

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The American Medical Association issued a report today declaring that videogames are officially addictive and gave guidelines for their use.

Even though the study admits that videogames can be a social experience, playing with people online and in groups, it also recognizes that there are certain members of society who spend the whole of their leisure time playing games, excluding other forms of entertainment or enrichment.

Because of these findings, the AMA wants to educate doctors about the warning signs of videogame addiction, options for treatment and increase awareness of the problem among parents. The association also recommends that people limit themselves and/or their children to a maximum of one to two hours of gaming a day.

Even though these are only recommendations, gaming now joins the ranks of drugs and alcohol and sex in the hallows of addiction hall.

"It's not me, Stan! It's a disease!"

Spong: American Doctors want videogame addiction recognized

This whole 24-hour webcam business has gone far enough. Now people think we want to see what their cats do all day. The disappointing thing is, we do.

A german man strapped a digital camera, rigged to take a picture every few minutes, around the neck of his cat named Mr. Lee. Mr. Lee then went about his daily activities and the camera snapped pictures here and there.

It turns out that Mr. Lee, despite being a cat, leads quite a full life. During the course of the day, Mr. Lee took a walk through the woods, hung out with other cat friends, spent some time under a car, spent some time under a porch and visited a dark, secret "cat den."

You can check out Mr. Lee's picture diary here.

When a rowdy young man on a Boston-bound Northwest Airlines flight started screaming things like, "Your lives are going to change today forever," on a plane packed with travelers, 65-year old ex-cop Bob Hayden was there to put the smack down.

Bob flagged down a flight attendant to let her know that he was an ex-cop and if she needed assistance in restraining the man, he'd be happy to oblige. The attendant worked out a signal for Bob for if and when she needed help. It wasn't long before landing that the flight attendant signaled Bob.

After most of the young men on the plane had refused to help Bob, the ex-cop recuited another silver-haired hero sitting next to him, an ex-Marine, to go and handle the crazy guy at the front of the plane. Working together, the two men restrained the passenger and stood guard until the plane landed safely in Boston.

The fact that two old men totally pwnd and made all the younger guys on the plane look like wusses (reaffirming TheFeed's theory that all young people are more or less useless) is pretty awesome in its own right, but that's not the best part of the story.

Bob's wife was sitting next to him while all this ruckus was going down, but barely bothered to look up from her book. We'll let her explain:

The woman sitting in front of us was very upset and asked me how I could just sit there reading. Bob's been shot at. He's been stabbed. He's taken knives away. He knows how to handle those situations. I figured he would go up there and step on somebody's neck, and that would be the end of it. I knew how that situation would end. I didn't know how the book would end.

Awesome.

Boston Globe: Graying Duo Keep Passenger In Check

Get Some, Mr. Spock!

dvinson
9 Comments

Posted June 5, 2007 - By Dana Leahy

Leonard Nimoy, the actor who portrayed Mr. Spock on Star Trek, has taken up a new hobby. Photography.

What does he photograph, you ask? Well, eggs, hands, himself and nude plus sized models.

Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? No, you read correctly, Nimoy also takes pictures of skinny models, but has an entire series devoted to the Rubenesque woman.

While most women a size 10 and up are considered "plus-size," Nimoy's models don't just have an extra scoop of Hamburger Helper, they consume it by the pallet.

Although the majority of the pictures are too graphic to show here, they feature very large women dancing in a circle, holding each other, doing a kickline and prancing around what can only be described as an Aggro Crag, like the glowing mountain from Nickelodeon's defunct game show Gutz.

While most men say "No fatties," Nimoy says "Yo Fatties....come dance around my Aggro Crag." God bless him.

StarPulse: Mr. Spock's Unusual New Career

Just when you thought the US had the market cornered on F'd up TV concepts, those wacky Dutch swoop in and show us the deepest depths of humanity's reality show obsession:

Vote for Who Gets the Kidney Transplant!

A 37 year old Dutch woman will make her choice based on the contestants' histories, profile and by talking to their family and friends.  Viewers will also be able to send in advice via SMS during the 80 minute show. 

If you remember G4TV.com's recent trip to Amsterdam, there are lots of awesome things you can do in The Netherlands via SMS.

TheFeed loves the Netherlands for their wacky TV shows, wooden shoes and waffles.  Dutch FTW!

BBCNews.com: Outcry over TV kidney competition

TheFeed doesn't want to impugn everyone who wears tattoos. Some tats can be pretty cool, especially gunmetal blue pictures of hula girls on the forearms of the ancient sailors we like drinking with. Also, FeedBoss Gentle's arm tat of Neil Diamond*.

But we do want to slander the following two classes of tattoo-bearers:

  1. People with "tribal" tattoos around their arms. What tribe are you in, anyway? TheFeed regards these tattoos as haircuts from the 70s, only permanent.
  2. People in chicago who got the words "Chi-Tonw" inscribed on their bodies because a tattoo artist made a mistake on a stencil.
  3. Other people who intentionally had the mispelled moniker inscribed on their flesh as a show of solidarity with the offending tattoo artist.

See, after bad-spelling artist Sam Hacker was sued for the error, Several of Hacker's friends got Chitonw tattoos together, Then the Chicago Tribune wrote several stories on what some call "Chi-Tonw-gate," strangers started dropping into Hackers's parlor to get their very own "Chi-Tonw" tattoos.

"They want it spelled wrong," said Hacker. "They insist on it. They want it spelled the right way, now is what we're saying. They want it spelled C-H-I-T-O-N-W."

TheFeed rarely beats on people for typos (pot calling teh kettle black) but we're making an exception for the literally hundreds of people who receieved "Chi-Tonw" tats without taking a second to read 'em. It's only one word...or one hyphenate, anyway, and you're having it permantly inscibed on yourself. And for the people who got them put on that way on purpose? Words fail us. Click the link for the full, amazing details!

6abc.com: Tattoo Typo Leads to Trend

 

*This is not a joke. Gentle actually has a big tattoo of Neil Diamond on his upper arm.

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We don't care who wins this argument between TV blowhards Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera, but it sure is funny when  two old guys yell at each other, especically when one has a dirty old 70s porn-guy mustache and the other looks like a potato.

 

 

Friday Morning Distraction

gentle
7 Comments

Posted March 30, 2007 - By juster

Hey Look Kids! This is fun and educational.

So this is Jackson Pollock.  He painted stuff and drank a lot.  Some say his artistic style was genius.  Others thought it looked like the mad paintings of a four year old on acid. 

Either way this new flash app lets you knock off his work while he spins in his grave.  Yay!  Click the image or the link below to make your own art. 

*Booze, adultery and a lifetime of harassment by assclown critics who flunked out of art school not included.

 

jacksonpollock.org

Whereas his father valiantly battled mummies, vampires, and werewolves on the silver screen, Lucha Libre star El Hijo del Santo will soon be grappling with some unconventional foes of his own – namely, the mounting threats to the environment of Baja California.

Yes, like a sequined spandex-clad Al Gore, the son of legendary luchadore El Santo is teaming with nonprofit group Wildcoast to raise awareness of the contamination of the Tijuana River.

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A bill proposed to the New York State Legislature?by Republican Rep. Brian Kolb brings an unusual twist to the fight to stop violent and sexual games. It?provides the authorities the power to confiscate any games which do not clearly display a rating label.?

TheFeed usually takes these game laws with an extra gigantic grain of salt.?Free speech is?pretty well established in the U.S.,?so even if these laws pass, they get?thrown out on Constitutional grounds. But?the whole thing is starting to get ridiculous.

Surely?the lawmakers in NY (this year's worst offender?at trying to pass useless game laws) can find some way to spend their time that's more useful than this nonsense.

Right?

They can, can't they?

Game Politics:? NY Legislation Permits Seizure of Unrated Games

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