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Video game hating attorney Jack Thompson was recently disbarred in the state of Florida. But, like a mutli-stage boss battle, Thompson isn't done yet. He has vowed to fight the disbarment in Federal Court.

"I will focus on the federal suit and will prevail," Thompson told Kotaku. "Piece of cake."

 Thompson filed a motion in to stay the disbarment order until the Federal courts can hear his pleading. In the motion, Thompson writes:

The presumption must now be that the disciplinary process of The Bar is flawed, that it is being used for purposes that have nothing to do with the ethics of its targets, but have everything to do with punishing The Bar’s perceived enemies and protecting its friends.

Maybe, just maybe, Jack Thompson was Right!

Jack Thompson Was Right! »


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Introducing...Wii Pedometer?

jmanalang
12 Comments

Posted September 30, 2008 - By jmanalang

Nintendo president Satoru Iwata had enough, even the legend Shigeru Miyamoto agrees with him. But, according to the internets, yet another heart-friendly Wii peripheral could be on its way.

Introducing, the speculated Wii Pedometer. Posted by a NeoGaf user, the item could possibly track the number of Wii-steps players take while exercising their Wii-Fit skills...or possibly check your pulse...or give you prescriptions. Whatever it may be, it could coincide with the Wii Balance Board's functions to further tell players how Wii-healthy they are, or unhealthy.

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The internet is good at two things: 1) Naked ladies. 2) Memes! We're a family website, so no naked ladies for you. Instead, we'll bring you our favorite meme of today: Jack Thompson is so disbarred that...

That's right, a twitter thread is growing by the minute with reams of jokes about everyone's favorite recently disbarred, game-hating attorney Jack Thompson. Here's a couple faves:

  1. Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can't get a cell signal anywhere.
  2. Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he couldn't subpoena colada!
  3. Jack Thompson is so disbarred, ambulances are chasing HIM!
  4. Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can't even try AOL free for 100 hours.

 And a couple of our own, G4 submissions:

  1. Jack Thompson's so disbarred, he got ejected from Wii Sports.
  2. Jack Thompson is so disbarred that he's not even allowed to play Phoenix Wright.

Jack Thompson: Disbarred

sjohnson
27 Comments

Posted September 25, 2008 - By Stephen Johnson

The video game industry is going to have to find a new enemy: Game-hating attorney Jack Thompson has been disbarred. Effective in 30 days, Thompson will not be able to practice law in the state of Florida. In legalese:

The Court approves the corrected referee's report and John Bruce Thompson is permanently disbarred, effective thirty days from the date of this order so that respondent can close out his practice and protect the interests of existing clients.

Thompson has a chance at a retrial, if he can get an upstanding member of the bar to sponsor it. We'll see if that happens. We wonder whether disbarred lawyers can still get pundit spots on alarmist TV news show. We're guessing not, but we'll see...

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If you live life on the edge--not by choice, but by accident---then you can thank Japan for this invention. Prop, a Tokyo-based company, has introduced a line of airbags designed for human beings who suffer from epileptic seizures and for those who are "very vulnerable to injury"--or simply, clumsy as hell.

The product (priced around $1,400) is worn around the back of the head and hip, but if you plan on eating the ground, the airbag does not deploy on your face, so you're out of luck. Or you could just mind your surroundings. Hit the source to see it in action. (image via Engadget)

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Breaking: Man Gasses Cop

sjohnson
24 Comments

Posted September 25, 2008 - By Stephen Johnson

This is the most important, breaking story of or lifetime: Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, W. VA, was cited for battery after farting on a cop.

Cruz was pulled over for drunken driving, and during his Breathalyzer test, he let rip right next to a police officer. The officer cited Cruz for battery, saying that Cruz "passed gas loudly." He then fanned the malodorous air toward the policeman. "The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

In his own defense, Cruz said "I couldn't hold it no more."

Welcome to internets fame, Mr. Cruz! You deserve it.

UPDATE: The farting charges were dropped. Apparently, the situation was too comical to prosecute.

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Hey, Althaea just lost 100 pounds! Thanks World of Warcraft!

Imitating the folks who have attached a treadmill to their computers in order to simulate the real WoW experience, a player from the Eitrigg server claims that he has lost over 100 pounds by traversing the lands of Azeroth via "WarBiking". In an interview with WoWInsider, the entity known as Althaea said:

"I'd been thinking about the treadmill for several months. I don't know whether it was before or after the apnea diagnosis, but I did come across some of the "everyday exercise" research that's going on at the Mayo Clinic. Basically, though, I'd been thinking that I only use a few left-hand key bindings for most of my WoW play, and I use the arrow keys for movement (I know, I know, L2P, blah blah blah) -- so why couldn't I rig up some sort of way to put a computer on a treadmill and play?"

Yes, why not? Because not only did he shed the weight, but according to the interview, the WoW excercise also helped him diagnose his sleep apnea. Amazing! We're still trying to blueprint our own exercise contraption. Hit the jump to see the WoW treadmill in action!

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President of Stardock Games Brad Wardell introduces "The Gamer's Bill of Rights".

Gamer's Bill of Rights Introduction »


 

You gotta fight!

Wisconsin toilet tissue researchers have achieved a milestone in science: Three-ply toilet paper. A team of scientists at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute added an extra layer to Quilted Northern TP, and the product was launched Monday.

According to the company, the toilet tissue is "ultra-soft" and will be marketed to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time." We didn't make that up.

We've heard the Russians are working on a four and maybe five ply tissue, and, as a nation, we can't afford to lose the toilet race.

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Notorious British murderer Ian Huntley (The "Soham Monster") wanted a video game system very badly, in spite of the fact that he is in prison for murdering two girls. See, the GameCube the British government provided him was out-of-date, and dude wanted a Wii. He threatened to kill himself, and, according to People.Co.Uk, the British authorities caved and bought him a one.

They also insisted that guards call the murderer by his first name, treat him like family and play Wii with him.

"Management are desperate to stop him going though with threats he's made to kill himself and by giving him a Wii they believe they can take his mind away from harming himself in any way," a jailhouse source said.

They do things differently over there in England, eh, folks?

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This is great. You see, once upon a time there was this band that really kicked serious ass and didn't give a damn about anything. Then they got rich. Then the internet happened and Napster was created. Then this band, let's call them Metallica, was so angry at the internet that they wanted to sue people and Napster for not paying them for sharing their music.

Well, those days are behind us, Internet. Lars, who was particularly vocal about the copyright infringement of the late 90s, has made his peace and is now embracing the business models that access and openness on the web can bring a superstar band. It's just awkward as hell and makes us actually want to kill them all.

 



So… um.. guys Ty ….. uh, Colfax from The ….uh-- G… 4. Just wanted to …. uh, say… You guys… er..um this …. vi…de…um..o featuring, uh -- Lars trying… to understand - um, technology. So cool, especially... you, Feed reader XxXlob076. teh kewl.. is uh.. what you are. and um… reee … uh, relate to…. the internets with.. all --their uh web… uh.. sites and um, money. BUY ME!

It's really funny to watching Lars try to wrap his brain around internet marketing and loss leaders all while being "hip" and "with it."

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Now that the dust has settled and the hype has cleared on the release of the 3G iPhone, it's time to put the "Jesus Phone" to the test, and pit it against a real competitor in a feature-for-feature, head-to-head cell phone battle for ultimate supremacy!

In the Red Corner: The Challenger: The 3G iPhone. Weighing in at 4.7 Ounces with a 3.5 inch screen, the iPhone is the darling of tech-nerds and early adopters everywhere.

In The Blue Corner: The Champion: The Jitterbug: Weighing in at 4.4 oz, with a 1.8 inch screen, the Jittebug is the cell phone for the over-65 set. If you've watched basic cable in the last couple years, you are no doubt familiar with this cell phone and it's amazing advertising jingle, distinctive lack of both features and dialing buttons and its clamshell shape.

Here's how the two stack up in the ultimate cell phone Comparo:

Feature Iphone Jitterbug
Price $199 (with 2 year plan)  $149
Can Make Phone Call? Yes Yes
3G Internet Support Yes Unnanounced
Internal Hard Drive Yes Unnanounced
Camera Yes Unnanounced
Email Support Yes Unnanounced
Application Support Yes Unnanounced
On-Board GPS Yes Unnanounced
Has Actual Dial Tone? No Yes
Frightens Technophobes? Yes No
Can Change Contacts By Fax? No Yes
Comes With Lanyard? No  Yes
Padded Ear-Piece? No  Yes
Facilitates Calls From Nana? No  Yes

The result: It's a draw. If you're a hipster, early-adopter technophile type who's compensating for how empty your life is with gadgets, you'll surely favor the iPhone. If you're a contrarian, want to get a phone for your grandma or a duffer who wants a simple way to call the cops on those kids who won't stay off your lawn, go with the Jitterbug.

Plus, the Jitterbug has an actual dial tone and allows you to update your contact list by faxing changes to the company. How pimp is that?

You know those commercials for "male enhancement" product Enzyte? With the bouncy theme song and the maniacally smiling mascot, Smiling Bob? Well, it turns out it was all a scam! Who would have guessed?

The founder of the company that makes Enzyte, Steve Warshak, was sentenced to 25 years in prison after he was convicted in February on 93 counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering. His company has to return $500 million. Damn! Never underestimate the power of gullibility/feelings-of-inadequacy!

“This is a case about greed,” The judge remarked. “Steven Warshak preyed on perceived sexual inadequacies of customers.”

Public Service Announcement: Male Enhancement isn't ever gonna happen, buddy, pills or not...Now, if only we could find some Male De-Enhancement pills, we'd be set.

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Our guest blogger, Peter Serafinowicz, is a veteran of the British comedy scene, and the star and creator of  The Peter Serafinowicz Show, G4's latest Duty Free TV hit. 

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"Oh yeah, baby, oh yeah... that's it... uh... what did you say your name was?"

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Watch The Peter Serafinowicz Show on Duty Free TV on G4 Fridays at 8:30PM ET.

According to a Nielsen survey, 17 percent of Grand Theft Auto IV buyers were under 17. Among the 17 percent that were underaged, 61 percent bought it themselves and 39 percent had a friend or relative do it for them.

Rating games is becoming similar to rating movies. All it does is serve to placate conservatives and people who can't help but tell you how to live your life. No one at the point of purchase cares how old the customer is and the only people who want to enforce the laws are the out of touch fools that push them through.

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