Breast Of Me

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Posted April 12, 2006 - By Frank Meyer

According to an adult industry website, Beverly Hills celebrity surgeon Frederic H. Corbin is being accused of smuggling illegal silicone breast implants into the United States and sticking them in his patients. If found guilty, he could face up to 10 years in prison. No word yet as to which celebrities were affixed with the bad boobies, but me thinks boobs-gone awry victim Tara Reid is in panic mode...

In a scene eerily reminiscent of the East Coast/West Coast rap wars that found both Tupac and Biggie Smalls gunned down in their prime, midget KISS tribute bands MiniKiss and Tiny Kiss are reportedly feuding over the rights to...um...be midgets in a KISS tribute band, I guess. MiniKiss leader Joey Fatale is accused of showing up at Tiny Kiss gig in Vegas with his posse to confront the group about stealing his ideas, which resulted in a cease and desist letter against him soon afterward.

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Tags: Lowlife, Music

Rush Limbaugh called the alleged rape victim of the Duke University lacrosse team a "ho" on his national syndicated radio program. Of course, we all know that the always credible Limbaugh only speaks of what he has experienced first hand, so we can assume he would know this because of all the dirty?whores he's slept with.

?Limbaugh called alleged Duke rape victim a "ho"

Tags: Lowlife, News
When I first read this headline, I thought this guy took 40,000 tablets of ecstasy all at once. My initial thoughts in the order they were received:

1. Oh my god.
2. Oh my god.
3. Are there pictures?
4. How did he take that many pills without dying first?
5. Did his head melt completely off?
6. Oh my god.
7. Does he love Paul van Dyk as much as I do?

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Tags: Lowlife
Just when Canadians had a chance to finally be interesting, they screw it up. At least they still have Hockey and Red Green to keep them company.

In other news, stock in Funyuns plummeted today.

Reuters: Canada scraps plan to decriminalize marijuana use
Tags: Lowlife

Why I Hate Studies

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Posted March 31, 2006 - By F M

A recent study apparently shows that most women believe one-night stands are immoral. A British study of women's attitudes towards sex revealed that they believe sex outside marriage or a committed relationship is wrong, and that those who have one-night stands do so out of desperation or drunkenness.

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Tags: Lowlife, News

Wanna see what a naked lady who takes a shower in a stranger's house looks like?

(I love you thesmokinggun.com)

The Smoking Gun: Naked Came the Stranger

Tags: Lowlife

David Hasselhoff Approves


Posted March 30, 2006 - By Dana Leahy

Former German prostitutes are leaving the streets in droves, heading towards the greener, disease-free pastures of nursing and telemarketing.

These ladies of the night can multitask and, hands down, the best part of this phenomenon is that the women aren't doing it to escape prostitution per se, but are leaving because the sex industry is getting too competitive. Apparently, it's hard work to get guys to pay for sex with you if you're past the age of 30. Who knew?

Anyway, the girls are training in career fields where the skills they learned during their time as prostitutes, such as listening, will be more apprciated. Plus, with the aging German population, nurses are in high demand and, unlike the whorehouses, there are plenty of open slots that need filling in nursing homes.

Or maybe the problem with the whorehouses in the first place was that there were too many open slots to fill. Now I'm confused.

Yahoo! News: Prostitutes retrain as nurses, tele-marketers

Tags: Lowlife, News

When police were called to Lenox Hill Hospital to investigate the beating of a 42-year-old Hispanic female that had been taken in for treatment, I betcha they didn't expect to find out that supermodel Naomi Campbell was culprit. Yes, Campbell was arrested and taken into custody from her home in midtown Manhattan for allegedly assaulting her personal assistant, who suffered a laceration to her head. "She was clearly hit with some sort of object," a police spokeswoman said. Oh man, that is soooo hot...

Breitbart.com: Supermodel Naomi Campbell arrested for alleged assault


Former pop diva and current crackhead Whitney Houston is reportedly spinning out of control...and we ain't talkin' about dance moves! According to her sister-in-law Tina Brown, Houston's crack problem has her spiraling into an abyss of abuse, squalor, hallucination, self-abuse and degradation.

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I can't figure out what is funnier here. That a new station in Alabama ran a news story about an actual Leprechaun spotting on St. Patrick's Day? That the news story was actually concocted and orchestrated by the public to put one over on the dumb newscasters? Or that when Allhiphop.com (rightfully so) ran a story on it with a link to the beyond-hilarious news story video, that some idiot wrote in saying how insensitive?and racist it was for them to do so!?!?

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Posted March 27, 2006 - By F M

Saturday morning some psycho opened fire in a house full of ravers dressed like zombies in Seattle. The victims and their raver friends were all dressed in dark clothing and pale makeup. Six people were killed and two were injured. This is sad news, no doubt.

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A Roy, Utah man found a strange, naked woman in his shower this week and called the police to have her arrested. It was discovered that she had fled her home after an argument that result in her ripping her clothes off. She drove through town until deciding she needed to cleanse herself, whereupon she stopped her car, entered a complete stranger home and took a shower.

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A wet t-shirt contest that took place this week in Florida resulted in four men and two women being arrested for lewd and lascivious acts. The police allege that the DJs and customers used alcohol to help encourage the female participants to "remove the t-shirts, expose themselves, and allow the audience to fondle them and bite their breasts."

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