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Lowlife

There are a lot of really remarkable ways to dispose of an unwanted baby. American women love dumpsters, but leave it to a German woman to do the most freaking insane, mentally unstable thing ever.

She burried them in flower pots. Nine different children. NINE.

Finding yourself reluctantly knocked up is, I can only imagine, pretty mentally taxing; however, never EVER would it cross a sane woman's mind to bury the babies in flower pots. I mean, a compost pile, maybe, but flower pots? Please, that's so Anne Geddes.?

Reuters: German woman accused of killing babies goes on trial

Tags: Lowlife

China Daily is reporting that a 19-year-old girl in the Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region has eaten around 1,500 kilograms of mud?in her lifetime. Bao Bao started eating liquid dirt as a 7-year-old and enjoys it so much that if she doesn't get her daily fix, she feels sick. Incredibly, she?is healthy and doctors cannot explain her mud obsession. One possible explanation though is...that she's completely friggin' insane. Doctors have yet to confirm this though.

Chinadaily.com: Mud pie keeps girl in good health

Tags: Lowlife, News

The first ever sex in videogame conference is going to be held in San Francisco, May 8-10. The conference promises to "focus on the design, development, and technology of sex in video games from a national as well as international perspective."

It will feature a machinima art show and speech and panels from luminaries in the world of cybersex include Violet Blue, Wired's sex columnist Regina Lynn and Phoenix Linden of Second Life.

Is having sex in videogames the wave of the future or?more like a desperate cry for help from the undesirable? Book your tickets now and find out.?Then let me know. I'll be busy trying to pick up chicks in Dungeons and Dragons Online.

Sex In Games

You know how it is. You're out with friends at a super trendy bar in Hollywood for a friend's birthday party, hanging out in the VIP section, drinking Kristal and signing autographs as a member of G4's internetwebsite staff, when suddenly this gorgeous fawn and friend plop at your table...

Drinks are had, introductions...small talk. All innocent, mind you. Finally, at the end of the night, phone numbers are exchanged. Plans made to talk again. Completely innocent.

You go to work on Monday and dial the number, leaving a message and suggesting another conversation at some point.

And then, you get this message...

I swear to you, the story is real. I know, because it happened to me.

Click here for the most amazing rejection message ever.

1. This is the ACTUAL message. Hand to God. . .all I did was edit out the numbers.
2. This message came after hanging out once in a bar and one phone call.
3. The message was received at 7:52 am, a time when I could not possibly be at the office.
5. Erin didn't even think enough of me to use her own voice; she employed a text-to-voice computer messaging system to deliver her rhetoric of rejection.
6. Erin composed one of the most perfect run-on sentences ever: "I got back with my boyfriend last night, so thanks for a fun night, but please, don't call again."

Scientists ruin everything. First they build zeppelins that don't explode into deadly fireballs, now they're taking the farts out of beans.

Venezuelan researchers reported that they've identified the bacteria that make beans gassy and perfected a method of fermenting black beans so they contain hardly any gas causing microbes at all.

Phhhhhht.

Yahoo News: Study shows secret to gas-free beans

Tags: Lowlife, News
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Celebrity En-DORK-Ments

popculturekilla
1 Comment

Posted April 25, 2006 - By F M

From the "Ha Ha Ha, I Told Ya So" files, Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Kate Moss and Donald Trump are among the list of celebrities whose endorsement make it less likely consumers will buy the product they are associated with, according to a study by the NPD Group. The study, which scored 87 celebrities and sports figures that have appeared in recent advertisements, focused on overall awareness and whether a celebrity left a positive or negative impression in consumers' minds. Celebs that consumers seem to trust include Extreme Makeover: Home Edition's Ty Pennington, Olympic medalist Summer Sanders, actor James Earl Jones, chef Emeril Legasse, golfer Tiger Woods and Desperate Housewives hottie James Denton. See, I knew being a slob, slut, snob, slacker and SOB doesn't make people like you. Now all you have is your immense wealth and incredible fame to fall back on! You losers!

NYPost.com: Tiger Woods You Believe, But Trust Trump? Uh-Uh.

?

Tags: Lowlife, Music, Style, TV

If you're having a dry spell, you might want to stop reading right now. According to the New York Times, retarded people are getting more tail than you.

From the article: "In what experts say is the latest frontier in disability rights, a small but growing number of psychologists, educators and researchers are promoting social opportunities and teaching the skills to enjoy them."? Those social oppurtunities include dating and sex.

The more you know.

New York Times: Learning to Savor a Full Life, Love Life Included

Tags: Lowlife

My Hero

popculturekilla
1 Comment

Posted April 20, 2006 - By F M

The smartest man on Earth was arrested today for posing as door-to-door breast examiner. The 76 year old Florida genius, Philip Winikoff, has been charged with sexual battery after he posed as a doctor and went door-to-door offering women free breast exams. Two really dumb women fell for the ploy. Can someone give this man his own TV show?!?!

Thesmokinggun.com: Fake Breast Doc Busted

Tags: Lowlife, News
Reportedly, Katie Holmes finally pushed out her kid. I never bought it and I still don't.

How completely irrelevant do you have to be to attempt to revamp your career by jumping on couches and having a baby? I think it's about the time where your name really means something for DVD sales in the former Soviet Bloc.

Give up Tom. For the last time, we don't care if you're gay. You've already gone crazy enough that you have completely severed any and all ties you had to the move star formerly known as Tom Cruise, so you might as well just come out of the closet now and own it.

CNN.com:? Cruise, Holmes welcome daughter Suri
Tags: Lowlife

"Don't Do Drunk"

dvinson
Leave a Comment

Posted April 17, 2006 - By Dana Leahy

Dear England,

I would probably be more worried about my most prominent food critic being named after Peter Venkman's dorky friend, than some warning labels that no one will pay attention to anyway.

Sincerely,

The Internet

24dash.com: UK 'faces world-wide ridicule' over alcohol health warnings

Tags: Lowlife

(No Subject)

dvinson
1 Comment

Posted April 17, 2006 - By Dana Leahy

Cancer
AIDS
World Hunger
Bird Flu
Heart Disease
Obesity
Nuclear Proliferation
Global Warming
Overpopulation

Reuters: Experts ponder a future of new sex gizmos, robots
Tags: Lowlife
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These guys are friends with that nice fellow from Nigeria. ?

My Way: Swindlers Try to Sell $1 Million Bill

Silent Night Holy Fright

dvinson
1 Comment

Posted April 14, 2006 - By Dana Leahy

OMG Stop the presses--Tom Cruise is taking a sh*t!!! It seems Tomcat's every move up to this silent birth-o-rama is being chronicled. Annoying.

Does anyone else find it ironic that Tom says this birth thing is "going to be a blast?" If Holmes is indeed going to push out her fun tube, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's going to be far from fun.

Mercury News: Cruise runs seminars to prepare for baby

Tags: Lowlife

A Decent Proposal

dvinson
1 Comment

Posted April 13, 2006 - By Dana Leahy

What's that famous saying about winning a fight on the internet? I think it's safe to apply that same logic to a fight between Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson. ?

Recently the pair was spotted spatting at LA hot spot The Dime over, well, I really couldn't tell you. I think someone's hairdresser called someone else's hairdresser a bitch? Oh and Brett Ratner was there?

You can read all the juicy second-hand details from Egotastic: Lindsay Lohan vs. Jessica Simpson: Fight!

But I want to make La Lohan an offer. . .

Read More »

Tags: Lowlife

Hey, 'member that hysterical video that came out on the internet with that?DEA guy (Lee Paige)?telling a class full of kids?he was the only one in the room professional enough to handle a?Glock, and then shooting himself in the foot?

Well he's suing.

Read More »

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