Cute

Lookit lookit lookit!? It's a pink DS Lite, straight from Nintendo.

I can't read the crazy moonman language featured on the Japanese Nintendo?site, but I believe it says something about people in Japan being able to buy pink DSs.

Hopefully, they'll be available in the States soon, so I'll be able to get in touch with my feminine side.

Nintendo

Only by "meteorite," I really mean "woman" and by "crashes into" I really mean "flew out of the sunroof onto the pavement."

How on Earth a woman that large fit through a sunroof, we may never know. I'm sure this one is going to be puzzling physicist for years to come.

However, as if this story wasn't already one to file away in "hilarious, yet sad" category, rescue workers tried to life flight the woman to the hospital, but she was so large, they couldn't take her in the chopper.

Jesus, people are so fat now they can't fit in a helicopter. The end is coming any day now.

TampaBays10.com: 600 lbs. woman survives getting thrown through sunroof

If you were three years old and you could pick any theme for your birthday party that you wanted, what would you pick?

Would you pick Superman? Spiderman? Maybe you're a girl, so you'd go down the Barbie or Cabbage Patch Doll route.

But if you're little Henry Shally, you pick The NewsHour with?Jim Lehrer.

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Florida, the land down under, is taking the beloved Manatee off the endangered species list, downgrading its condition from "endangered" to "threatened."

This is a dangerous step argue environmentalists who say that the population of the majestic animal could be drastically deminished over the next fifty years. The move marks yet another blantant attempt at thwarting the important environmental policy which has been helping to reverse the trend of human damage. Leave it to Florida to be the first to go backwards. I thought we worked so hard to establish stuff like this was important back in the early 90s with Earth Day and crap.

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Jie Jie, the adorable little three armed baby in China, had his adorable little third arm removed.

Baby is reportedly doing well and is expected, after some extensive therapy on a tiny, infant-sized?stationary arm bike, to lead a normal life.

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O beautiful for water damaged sky, for amber waves of vegetable oil. For purple paint majesty, above the chickened plain...here's a round-up and ranking of the greatest senior pranks the good, ol' U.S. of A has to offer.

Click below to read the entire list...

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Ok, normally I hate cute things. Cute things make me want to kill and kill. But this is prety adorable, even for a hard-hearted person like me. And, it's a slow news day, since we're here at G4, but most of the world is on vacation for Memorial Day. So, I'm putting it on The Feed.

Ahh, the futility of love. Makes the heart tingle.

?

Reuters.com: Lovesick Swan Falls In Love With Swan Paddle Boat

Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell just had a baby. She named it Bluebell Madonna.

Does the name "Bluebell" conjure up dairy imagery for anyone else? I did an informal poll around the office and we decided that the name definitely makes us think of cheese. Or at least a cow.

I think this is to blame:

Washingtonpost.com: Geri Halliwell Names Baby Bluebell Madonna

I would have paid $20 to get out of pickleball, $30 to be excused from the giant parachute, and a big C-note to get out of running the mile.

MSNBC.com: Ex-gym teacher pleads guilty to taking bribes

(My mom forwarded this to me. Thanks, Mom!)

They'd only be dangerous if they were smarter.

AP: MySpace.com Bragging Leads to Charges

Part Aryan Goddess, part anteater: German school girl Annika Irmler?has the world's largest tongue. It's seven centimetre, according to The?Guinness Book of Records.

"My friends always said I had an incredibly long tongue - I could make lots of money with it one day," Annika told BBC.

You sure could, honey...you suuuure could.

BBC: 'I've got the world's longest tongue'

In these tumultuous times, it's good to have something to smile at. Today we're smiling at a monkey attack.

Thirty?angry apes escaped from a wildlife sanctuary in Sierra Leone, tore apart a taxi driver with their claws and teeth, then injured three?American construction workers building a new embassy.

Why must things like this happen so far away, and so rarely?

The sanctuary's director, Bala Amarasekaran, had this to say: "Chimps mob people. If you try and defend yourself you can get hurt." He advised any humans attacked by chimpanzees to "be submissive, lie on the ground".

I don't think Bala understands Americans very well. If I see a gang of monkeys wildin' out, I'm?hitting back.?I'll to go out swinging a golf club and hollering curses at the top of my lungs, so at least they'll write songs and stories about me after I'm torn to shreds by rampaging apes.

Reuters: Police Hunt Killer Chimps

You might think that watching a webcam of a real-life bald eagle who lives in Canada sit in her nest would be boring, but then she looks at you like, "What are you doing in my living room?! Get away from my children!" and you're hooked.

The Eagle is sitting on some adorable eagle eggs and every once and awhile she'll stand up and show us the future eaglets. Sometime between the 26th and the 30th, the eggs are supposed to hatch. AHHH! THE SUSPENSE!!!!

This is exactly like when, around Christmas, everyone at your local cable access station goes on vacation, so they put up hours and hours of looping fireplace footage. I got five on what hour the hand with the poker will appear.

Eagle Eye Cam

Here are two items that prove kids are awesome:

1) An eight-year-old Grand Theft Auto fan?from Modesto, California stole his teacher's minivan and tooled around. Apparently, a Jester was not available.?The little squirt didn't crash:?The van was recovered over a mile from the school? after an onlooker snitched to the po-po.
CBS13.com: 8-Year-Old Modesto Boy Steals Teacher's Minivan

2) An eight-year-old girl in Scranton, Pennsylvania tossed crack out the window of her family's apartment when the pigs busted in during a raid. According to the police, the girl was "street smart" and had a "bad attitude" during questioning.
FOXNews.com: 'Street Smart' Girl Charged With Tossing Crack During Drug Raid