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This week, Paris Hilton was ordered to appear in court on May 4 for allegedly violating her probation in a reckless driving case when she drove with a suspended driver's license.

L.A. prosecutors wanna revoke her probation on grounds that she violated its conditions, which could result in a sentence of up to 90 days in jail.

Right.

You think that chick is gonna spent even one hour in jail?

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J-Lo No Dope

frankmeyer
16 Comments

Posted April 18, 2007 - By Frank Meyer

J-Lo and hubby Marc Anthony just launched a torrential libel suit against the National Enquirer over drug scandal allegations.

Belfast-based lawyer Paul Tweed, who specializes in fighting U.S. libel cases in European courts (where they are suing from), filed the lawsuit with the Belfast High Court on Tuesday, with a writ of summons due to arrive at the magazine's New York headquarters shortly, with similar applications coming soon in Dublin, London and other jurisdictions.

Lopez and Anthony are seeking "substantial damages," a full retraction and an apology over an Enquirer article last month that alleged the couple were linked to a drug scandal after Anthony was pictured with a photographer later charged with heroin possession.

No word on the Lo’s action against TheFeed for saying they are goofballs.

YahooNews.com: J-Lo sues National Enquirer for libel in Europe

Janet Jackson is being sued by a fan who says he was trying to pass her a note when one of her bodyguards choked him. This suit is worth $120 million. And, though she was trying to get the suit overturned, the judge has allowed it to continue. The incident took place in 2004.

TheFeed would like to go on record and say that, if anyone's bodyguard wants to choke us for $120 million, we will gladly allow it. Even if we have to go to the hospital, like, for a while. Because when we wake up, there will be $120 million waiting for us.

Yahoo! News: Janet Jackson sued over choking incident

While talking to the press at a junket for her new film, Perfect Stranger, sexy starlet Halle Berry fielded questions about her possibly reprising her role as the feline crime fighter, Catwoman and she had some very positive things to say. Well, positive if you hated Catwoman, which everyone did.

"No, no ... You guys didn't like Catwoman the first time, and I'm not a masochist ... I make movies for people, and if people don't really want to see that, then I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, obviously."

That’s the best career decision she’s made since choosing to appear naked in Monster’s Ball

Rottentomatoes.com: Halle Berry Says "No, Again" to Catwoman

Galactus is coming. Surely, you’ve seen the signs; the darkening of the sky, the wind moving to and fro on the earth like an angry, caged animal, his herald, the Silver Surfer appearing everywhere (so what if it’s only on billboards, he still appears everywhere).

Yes friends, Galactus is coming… to a theater near you and he may be voiced by someone you wouldn’t expect in a million years.

Rumor has it the Devourer of Worlds will be played by none other than Morpheus himself, Laurence Fishburne. So, either Galactus’ big screen appearance (if he even appears and isn’t just a disembodied voice like some early reports have suggested) is going to be super awesome or suck so hard that not even light will be able to escape it.

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MSNBC Cuts Imus Program

mdalonzo
1 Comment

Posted April 12, 2007 - By Mike D'Alonzo

MSNBC has officially severed all ties with Don Imus, whose Imus In The Morning program was simulcast on the network every day. This comes as Imus has been suspended and fined for calling the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team a bunch of 'nappy headed hos.' Though Imus has been on-air for over thirty years, the powers-that-be have made no concessions for his age or his ignorance, and have jumped on him with both proverbial feet.

This seems to signal a changeover from a time of indentured privlege in media, to a time when your feet are held to the fire no matter who you are. The truth of the matter is that 'nappy headed hos' is just unacceptable, no matter who you are, and what context you say it in. If you were to say it at work or school, you'd be fired or expelled in the blink of an eye.

Zap2It.com: MSNBC Dumps Imus

Tags: Celebrities, TV

TheFeed's been a little worried about the state of affairs in the Paris Hilton-Nicole Richie feud. Luckily, they've buried the hatchet and decided to get back to what they do best, coc...uh, starring in The Simple Life on TV! And this time, they're going to be counselors at a series of  summer camps with different focuses. At one of them, a fitness camp run by fitness Nazi Susan Powter, they will give the campers enemas.

Yep, you read that right. The socialites will be giving enemas to overweight folks who are going to a has-been's summer camp trying to get thinner. It might make for fun viewing but you can bet it's nothing but hell for the people who get to participate. Next year, we think they should just line up and spit in poor people's faces. Just for fun.

Yahoo! News: Paris Hilton, Richie give enemas on "Simple Life"

Tags: Celebrities, TV

Schwarzenegger Is A Pimp

frankmeyer
6 Comments

Posted April 9, 2007 - By Frank Meyer

To celebrate Earth Day this year, MTV’s Pimp My Ride crew is teaming up with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for a very special episode to air April 22 at 1 pm ET/PT.

How special?

Very f***ing special, okay?

On the show, the Terminator himself visits Xzibit and his boys as they take a '65 Chevy Impala and give it a ecological alteration, proving power and preservation can co-exist…with the help of massive auto industry conglomerates! Yes, with the help of Galpin, Imperium Renewables, General Motors and others, the Impala gets an 800 horsepower diesel engine that will run on biodiesel, turning it into one helluva clean machine!

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Michael Jackson is auctioning off tons of memorabilia via Guernsey's auction house on May 30-31 at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, including about 2,000 items from the Jackson family, ranging from his black fedora, the gold record for Thriller, handwritten lyrics, sunglasses and microphones.

Fans can also bid for the items on eBay at the time of the live auction. Other items up for grabs are Janet Jackson's ballet shoes, the Mae West costume she wore in her first appearance with the Jackson Five, and a black, gold-sequined jacket he moonwalked in.

The memorabilia are part of a collection of about 10,000 Jackson family items that were bought in a bankruptcy sale and later sold to delivery company Universal Express. The collection made news in 2004 when some of the items, including Jackson's underwear, were turned over to investigators as evidence in the child molestation case.

Creeeepy…..

YahooNews.com: Michael Jackson memorabilia set for auction

James Doohan, the man who played Montgomery Scott on Star Trek will have his ashes blasted into space within the next month.

The company that does this, Celestis, contracts aerospace companies to launch ashes into space for $495 per person. Though Doohan died in July of 2005, it's taken this long to make the arrangements to get him into space.

Of course, if Scotty were running the show, it would have been done a long time ago, though he would have bitched the entire time. In addition to Doohan, former astronaut Gordon 'Gordo' Cooper will be launched in the same flight. Imagine the conversation those two would have. Actually, it would probably sound all dusty, since they're urns full of dead ashes.

Yahoo! News: Doohan's ashes to be blasted into space

Donald Trump's world famous hair is safe, for now. As his representatvie, Bobby Lashley, beat Vince McMahon's representative, Umaga, in the ring at WrestleMania 23, The Donald got to shave McMahon's head in the ring right after the match. Of course, this didn't stop Trump from getting stunned by special guest referee 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin after the match, while celebrating in the ring.

The event was attended by over 80,000 people, live from Ford Field in Detroit, and featured John Cena over Shawn Michaels, Mr. Kennedy winning the Money-In-The-Bank Ladder Match, and the first ever 'Lumberjill' Match, wherein gorgeous women beat each other up. Very nice.

ESPN.com: Ford Field hosts 23rd installment of Wrestlemania

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Pop tart Britney Spears and boy toy hubby Kevin Federline reached a divorce settlement yesterday.

They have not announced the agreement entails, but we know the session took place at Spears attorney Laura Wasser's office in Century City, California and lasted five hours…five bittersweet hours. They reportedly came to terms on "all issues of their marriage and child custody."

The dynamic duo agreed in January to a temporary joint-custody arrangement that included a three-days-a-week visitation schedule for K-Fed, but he ended u taking over custody of their two children when ol’ Brit checked into rehab in February.

A source close to him told MTV News that he's "not about to give them up."

Um….Hey, how is it possible that I have empathy for this guy these days, and find him to be the much more tolerable one of the two?

Sniff, sniff...I'll tell ya this, I sure am gonna miss the wacky antics of those two...

MTV.com: Britney Spears, Kevin Federline Reach Divorce Settlement

Sexual Halle Storm

frankmeyer
14 Comments

Posted March 29, 2007 - By Frank Meyer


Actress Halle Berry admits in the new US magazine that she once attempted to commit suicide over her failed relationship with baseball star David Justice, but wussed out at the last minute.

"I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming, when I had an image of my mother finding me," she says. "She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low. I promised myself I would never be a coward again."

She also describes her second marriage, to singer Eric Benet, as "really horrific."

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Providing an actor with an Oscar-winning role can sure do a lot for a business relationship. Forest Whitaker is preparing to reteam with Fox Searchlight Pictures for the police drama The Night Watchman, opposite Keanu Reeves.

Reeves will play an officer who led a task force, willing to do anything to get the job done. After being falsely implicated the death of another cop, Reeves will be forced to confront his long time mentor, played by Whitaker, for the truth. The movie is based on an original idea by L.A. Confidential author James Elroy and production is slated to start on May 21st under the helming of director David Ayer.

In not completely unrelated news, Whitaker is scheduled to reappear in 6th season of The Shield, where he plays an Internal Affairs officer, investigating a corrupt cop who leads a task force, willing to do anything to get the job done.

Dark Horizons: Oscar-Winner Whitaker Becomes A "Watchman"

Whereas his father valiantly battled mummies, vampires, and werewolves on the silver screen, Lucha Libre star El Hijo del Santo will soon be grappling with some unconventional foes of his own – namely, the mounting threats to the environment of Baja California.

Yes, like a sequined spandex-clad Al Gore, the son of legendary luchadore El Santo is teaming with nonprofit group Wildcoast to raise awareness of the contamination of the Tijuana River.

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