Chuck Norris is not planning on running for president, but that doesn't stop him from thinking about what his platform would be if he did.
A staunch conservative, Norris apparently has a column that he writes for World Net Daily. This week's diatribe was a list of campaign promises he would make (and keep with the help of his fists) if he ran for President of the United States.
Here are just a few of the gems:
- Resurrect Bruce Lee and appoint him head of homeland security (OK, the CIA and FBI too).
- Increase jobs in America by sending ninja teams to sabotage and steal them back from other countries.
- Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist.
- Create new immigration legislation: to deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O' Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return).
- Ask producer Mark Barnett to film "Survivor – Camp David," where world leaders will meet annually, for an all-out cage-fighting championship. The winner will take home $1,000,000 in Disney Dollars, good in Europe or America.
- Expose the real WMDs – my fists and feet.