If you have a spare million bucks or so sitting around, you might want to purchase a Kuratas from Suidobashi Heavy Industries. Kuratas is a mech, an actual, working, ride-in mech that's 13-feet high and weighs over 4 tons.
The mech is controlled through a touchscreen UI with Kinect-based movement interface, It can lock on to enemies through facial recognition, and its twin BB "gatling guns" can be activated through smiling. All I'd do was smile, and everyone would be pelted with endless rounds of BBs.
The $1.35 million price tag doesn't include further customization options like a faux leather interior, cup holder or phone cubby, but you'll probably want to pony up the extra dough for those. I mean, why wouldn't you?
As far as I can tell, this is a real thing that actually exists. Please watch the videos below and send me a million bucks: