The Witcher 2 Romance Guide, the guide that lies before you, will hold your hand through Geralt’s pursuit of almost every woman he encounters. This is the third installment in a little series I like to call Rated-Teen Beat. We're going to be dishing about Geralt and his many conquests. Don't hate the player; hate the game. But don't hate the game either, because it's The Witcher 2 and it's awesome.
Witchers are monster hunters who have been trained, and altered, from a young age, to fight monsters and survive brutal attacks. Your monster hunting skills have been acquired over years of battles, but your love making skills, that’s all you.
Seriously though, Geralt is what one might call a “man whore.” If you need help making sure your Witcher is as slutty as your heart’s content, you’ve come to the right place. I should note, however, Geralt can’t bang every love interest in one playthrough of The Witcher 2. There is a split at the end of Chapter 1. You’ll have to side with Iorveth or Roche, both will allow you access to specific women. If you want to get with as many ladies as possible, and why wouldn’t you, side with Iorveth. If you do, you’ll be able to get better acquainted with Mottle, the Succubus, and Cynthia, as well as all the whores you can hold with two hands. If you choose Roche, you’ll have to settle with Ves. No matter which path you choose, it leads to prostitutes, so there’s that.
If you’re concerned Geralt’s promiscuity may cause some health concerns, keep in mind Witchers are sterile. They are also immune to diseases, STDs included. Safe sex is happy sex, folks.
Triss -- Chapter 1
Before you even get a sword, you get to sneak a peek at Triss’ boobs. In The Witcher 2’s prologue you can choose “On the day of the attack.” If you do, you’ll wake up in bed next to a totally naked Triss.
Quest: The Rose of Remembrance
When you begin this quest you must allow Triss to accompany you. In the garden, a group of thugs will attack, their defeat activates a cutscene. In the dialogue tree select “You could use a bath.” This initiates a water sex scene, complete with a magic striptease. No really, she takes her clothes off with magic.
Ves -- Chapter 2
Quest: Ave Henselt!
Defeat all of the challengers in the tournament in Chapter 2. After you take down all your competition, Ves will challenge you. If you want to hit that, make sure you hit that. You can’t sleep with her until you defeat her. Following your victory choose these dialogue options.
- “That was a great fight.”
- “I also feel like using this opportunity.”
- “She’s both brave and beautiful.”
- “I like that idea.”
Mottle -- Chapter 2
Quest: The Prison Barge
In Chapter 1, you have the choice of whether or not to save some girls from a burning tower. If you do, one of the girls will have sex with you in Chapter 2. It’s the reward Mario has always wanted. Once you make it to Chapter 2, complete the quest The War Council, and leave Vergen through the Mahakam Gate. When you see a cart with a red roof, go left, and you’ll see Mottle.
Mottle is one of the elf girls you saved. I guess she’s pretty stoked you saved her because it only takes three words to get her to put out, which has to be a record. Choose “Tempt?” and then choose “All right.” That’s all. Initiate graphic elven sex scene. After the sex talk to her again and you’ll get a key to the Tunnel of the Founders.
Succubus -- Chapter 2
Quest: With Flickering Heart
I can’t help you complete the quest: With Flickering Heart, but I can tell you to side with the Succubus. As a general rule of thumb, side with the person you want to have sex with, they like that.
The fastest way to get the Succubus is to first buy surgical tools from Felicia Cori before investigating the corpses in the catacombs. There will be a fresh corpse, check its arms for a metal fragment, then turn the body over to find Dandelion’s poetry book. Talk to Dandelion to convince him to help you lure out the Succubus.
Next meet Dandelion in the village at night. The Succubus will only appear if he correctly recites the poetry from his book. You must use these responses:
- “If our bodies...”
- “My heart would inquire...”
- “Or treat it as a morsel...”
When the Succubus appears you can speak with her, or Dandelion can. It’s easier to sway the Succubus with Geralt, but both are possible. If you do go with Dandelion you must say “Like the others?” to begin the proper dialogue sequence. If you stick with Geralt, you’ll skip that first step. Either way you must choose these options:
- “Who’s the murderer?”
- “What’s his name?”
- “I’ll talk to Ele’yas.”
As you might guess, next you need to speak with Ele’yah. When you do, choose these:
- “You lied to me.”
- “I don’t believe you.”
The next conversation will be with Iorveth. It is vital that you acquired the metal fragment from the corpse, if you don’t, the necessary dialogue choice won’t appear. Assuming you’re on track, say the following to Iorveth:
- “Ele’yas is a murder.”
- “I have this blade.”
This sets up a cutscene where Iorveth claims Ele’yah has fled town. Head back to the village and Ele’yah will attack you. Defeat him and go see your next conquest, the Succubus. When you go back to her, say “Sounds good to me.” It does sound good to you because you’re about to get some sweet Witcher on Succubus action. Be warned: Everything is fair game when a tail is involved.
Cynthia -- Chapter 3
Quest: A Tome Truly Rare
Getting Cynthia to give it up can be a bit a challenge. First you have to complete the quest The Secrets of Loc Muinne and the subquest, Dearhenna’s Journal. Not so fast sailor, you have to complete it in the correct manner to trigger the proper version of A Tome Truly Rare. The Secrets of Loc Muinne can end three ways. Only one ending leaves Cynthia alive and in town. Get that one. If you do, you’re on the right path. (That path leads to her pants.)
If you need help going down that path, here are the basic steps:
- In the beginning dialogue for The Secrets of Loc Muinne agree to work with Cynthia by saying “Fine, I’ll help you.”
- Find the artifact at the end of the quest and say “I’d like to try the artifact.”
- Deal with Adalbert and then ask Cynthia, “Will we meet again?”
- In Dearhenna’s lab, make sure to grab Dearhenna’s notes. All 5 are located in the lab or the puzzle room. This completes Dearhenna’s Journal quest, triggering A Tome Truly Rate.
If Geralt did exactly what I told him to do, Cynthia will be waiting at the Loc Muinne Inn. Find her, and say these things:
- “What did Dearhenna actually research?”
- “I know about the book.”
- “Every word you say is a lie...”
- “I’m curious to know the real Cynthia.”
- [Embrace Cynthia.]
Ladies and gents, you’ve just nailed Cynthia.
Brothel Ladies -- Chapter 1
Quest: Anytime. All of them. Found in the basement of the inn.
The inn has a basement, go down there and the ladies will go down, well, you know. All of the lovely ladies require a bribe of at least 100 orens. Paying them more than that won’t get you a better sex scene, so save your money. Each woman has a unique intro video, but they all share the same sex scene choreography.
Camp Followers -- Chapter 2
If you sided with Iorveth, you’ll only be able to knock +5 boots with the camp followers during the mission: Where Is Triss Merigold? If you sided with Roche, you’ll be able to access these ladies anytime. The women at the Flotsam brothel require a bribe too. 100 orens will get you the basic service package. The generic whores, Birdie, Big Bust Miriam, Arseleta, have the same moves, but the unique whores, Licking Lucy and Whistling Wendy, will do some pretty special stuff.
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