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Angry Birds Space Announced

sjohnson
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Posted February 17, 2012 - By Stephen Johnson

Angry Birds Space Announced

Those Angry Birds your aunt loves are being blasted into space. Rovio today put up a teaser site and a short video trumpeting the next appearance of the Angry Birds in Angry Birds Space. It will be out on March 22. Other than that, we don't know much.

I'm no scientist, but I have several problems with this idea. Number 1: If the birds were in outer space, there would be no gravity, meaning that the game's traditional focus on creating the correct trajectories to demolish pig structures would be meaningless. We know from Newton's first law  that a bird flung into space with a slingshot would continue in a perfectly straight line until the end of time itself. -- so no graceful arcs. Also: There's no sound in space, so you wouldn't hear the delightful squawks you know and love.

If the titular avian were  to travel to other planets in search of their precious eggs, there are a whole host of other problems. The first is simply differentials in gravity. The larger the mass, the greater the effects of gravity, meaning that birds on bigger planets would hardly be able to be flung at all, and on small planets, they would be flung for miles. Also: How, exactly, do the birds get to space in the first place? Some kind of bird rocket? Their wings wouldn't even work out there! It's a laughable idea. How would they deal with re-entry into our atmosphere upon their return to Earth?

How do the pigs manage to transport wooden planks and ice towers into space to begin with, let alone delicate eggs? Am I to assume there's some kind of surreptitious pig-based space program that's 100s of years more advanced then man's? To keep it hidden all these years would require a world-wide conspiracy that has its evil tentacles in everything we do! The pigs would have to be watching me now, at this very moment, as I type thi......

BUY ANGRY BIRDS SPACE WHEN IT IS RELEASED IT WILL BE THE BEST GAME THAT HAS EVER BEEN RELEASED IN THE  HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!

All of the best people are following Stephen Johnson's twitter feed. Also, email me if you wanna.

Angry Birds Space Announced
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