Yesterday, we brought you a compendium of some of the coolest Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim mods out there, including useful inventory management tools, map tools and more. But those nearly-essential tweaks to Skyrim don't tell the whole modding story. The other side of the coin are the mods listed below. Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy The Top Ten Weirdest Skyrim Mods In Existence!
Remember the first companion you get, loyal Lydia? Remember how when you ask her to carry your stuff she's all, "I'm sworn to carry your burden," in a really sarcastic way? Well some modder out there was appparently so offended at Lydia's insolence that he took that line of dialogue out of the game. All this mod does is make Lydia more subservient.
9) Skimpy Armor
Speaking of subservient women, Skyrim's original female armor looks fully functional, in that it covers sensitive anatomy and protects flesh from pointy arrows and swords...But it's just not hot. Modders to the rescue! Now you can dress your pixels with impractical, ridiculous stripper get-ups for girl warriors, archers and mages. Oh, gamers, Your adolescent hormonal drives never fail to amuse me!
You know you want to throw sweetrolls at your enemies. Now there's a spell for that. Once you learn it, you can run up to a giant, let a roll fly and be all, "You got SWEET-ROLLED!"
Lydia clearly needs a chair, what with all that carrying she's been doing. The real point of this mod, of course, is to keep Lydia out of the chair in your room, so she can't stare at you as you sleep.
6) Clam Farm
This mod "adds a Clam Farm and three clam ranchers to Lake Ilinalta, at the mouth of the White River." OK, but why?
Speaking of invertebrates, this mod is both awesome and really, really stupd. It puts dashing monocoles and tophats on mudcrabs, classing up the muck they wallow in immeasurably. Check it out in YouTube form above.
You're simply not a well-dressed gentleman of Skyrim without these spiffy sentient-lizard-skin kicks. Extra points if you are yourself an Argonian, because then sporting these shoes is like walking around in real life wearing a pair of shoes made of someone eles's feet.
This mod means every copy of the Lusty Argonian Maid you read will give a boost to your one-handed skill. Get it??
This very powerful artifact turns your enemies into a pile of boots. It also inserts a "WTF?" look on your real-life face.
... and the very strangest Skyrim I was able to find is.... (insert drumroll here)...
This mod gives dogs in the game darker eyebrows. I don't know why either, but I love the one-sentence description up on the Steam forums:
"This is a texture that puts up the eyebrow to the dog."
You heard it here first, gamers! Time to put up the eyebrows to the dog and tell us your own dumbest mods in our comment section below.