This is the most important news story of our times: Technology modder Ben Heck has created an Xbox 360 controller that extrudes Hot Pockets. This means your controller will dispense a hot pocket to you... and you won't have to use your hands at all to eat it.

As you can see in the video below, it's a low-tech solution, all-told, but still... it's a damn Hot Pocket extruder. This is the end of all civilization.

Inspired by Heck, I've begun working on a mod that is essentially a large bucket attached to a tube. The bucket is mounted onto the ceiling, above your easy chair, and The tube is placed down your throat and into your stomach. The bucket contains stainless steel blades that liquify Hot Pockets. While gaming, you pull a chain and delicious Hot Pocket slurry is delivered right into your stomach.  You don't even have to chew!