Fans of motion-control and adorability are in luck: Kinectimals Now With Bears! has a release date. You'll be able to get your virtual arms around a Panda, Grizzly, Cinnamon Bear, Glacier Bear or Polar Bear beginning on October 11.

In other Kinectimal news, the series is coming to Windows Phone. “Kinectimals” for Widows Phone takes all the fun of  Players can care for and bond with their favorite pet cat or bear cub using touch screen controls to feed, pet, play and nurture them on-the-go.

I understand many people expose their young children to Kinectimals, given its bright colors, simple motion-controls and kid-happy plot, but I recommend you keep impressionable children away from this title and its prequel at all cost.

Animals just want to kill us.

Big cats are bad enough, but bears are far worse. Friggin' bears will eat your face apart, then go catch a salmon or eat some honey or something without thinking about it. Teach your children to stay away from bears, lions and all other animals, unless they are very heavily armed.  Get your kid Grand Theft Auto 4 instead. It's safer.

I don't even trust gerbils. I've seen the way they look at me. 

All of the best people are following Stephen Johnson's twitter feed. Also, email me if you wanna.