The Best Bodily Functions In Video Games -- Burps, Farts And Poop


Posted December 17, 2010 - By Nikole Zivalich

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The Best Bodily Functions In Video Games -- Burps, Farts And Poop
Video games are a complex form of interactive media. Many moving parts go into making a game, you need a story, character arcs, gameplay innovation and stunning graphics. There is one gear that is for too often missing from this living, breathing machine that is a solid video game experience. I'm of course talking about the use bodily functions as a game mechanic.
Yes, those awesome and often immature moments in games that make us laugh, and get us a little queasy: flatulence, burping, urinating - they are all great ways to advance through a level or defeat an enemy. If projectile vomiting is more your thing then keep reading because I've got that  covered too.
Editor's Note: This feature is really gross, so make sure you're reading this on an empty stomach. Or bladder.
Squeezing Cheese in Fable
The three games in the Fable series let you take control of young hero during turbulent times. You can choose the fate of your character and the fate of the villagers around you. All this power can go to your head, or in this case, your bum. Farting in Fable has become one of the most popular things to do in the title. It's a skill learned in childhood and can be used throughout the whole game and in many inappropriate situations. Whee!
Wario's Deadly Flatulence
In Super Smash Bros. Brawl Wario's core move involves him building up flatulence over time to release it in a massive fart called Wario Waft. Yes, his fart has a name, trademark pending. When the fart is half-way built up, for some reason it's the most powerful level,and can possibly lead to a K.O. Sadly, characters in SSBB don't have a "Hold Your Nose" button.
Rabbid Burping
The Belching of the Raving Rabbids
One of the mini games in Raving Rabbids 2 is all about burping. The player uses the Wiimote to shake a bottle of soda. The more you shake the bottle in the allotted time, the bigger the burp will be. Rabbid burps are loud and come complete with their own odor cloud. If you're skilled in the arts of Rabbid burps you can level an entire city with your belch.
The Hot Air of the Viva Pinatas
In Viva Pinata: Party Animals there's a mini game where the object of the game is also to drink as much soda as you can in order to profuce the most impressive burp. Unlike with Raving Rabbids 2 your goal is not to level a city. Instead the wind force created from the burps push you sail boats forward. The first boat to cross the finish line wins.
The Sims
Whizzing in Duke Nukem
The game we never thought would happen is happening, Duke Nukem Forever was confirmed during this year's PAX Prime. The man, the legend, the Duke, is back in all his glory. Minutes into the game's show floor build you're Nukem himself and you are peeing. "It's time to stop pissing around" he says as you aim a stream of liquid into a urinal. Of course he washes his hands afterward. Do as the Duke does, folks.
Pee in Conker's Bad Fur Day
Conker's Bad Fur Day is a game that guarantees sophistication in every second of the game. There is an area in a level that is full of urinals. In this most sacred of levels, you are armed with your own urine. Yeah, you pee on enemies. That's not even the best use of urine in the game. The enemy known as fire imps can only be defeated by drinking so much alcohol that your pee becomes flammable. Talk about a burning sensation!
Bathroom Needs in The Sims
The Sims games allow you to control an entire a family of Sims. You can decide how they spend their free time, what career they pursue and even what food they eat. As the supreme ruler of your Sim-world you can also dictate when and if they use the restroom. If you choose not to allow them to use the lavatory they will actually wet themselves and then scream in embarrassing agony. If you're especially sadistic you can force them to clean up the puddle at their feet. Or not, leading to The Sims: Urinetown.
Conker's Bad Fur Day 
Demonic Crap in Deathspank
DeathSpank features a very unique type of humor. On one specific mission you must go on a quest for poop. But not just any poop, rather you're searching for magic poop from demons. Using a special hammer all you have to do is beat the crap of out of demons ... literally. Demon poop is not to be confused with Unicorn poop or dragon poop. Both of which play a role in the game. I'm not sure why they didn't just call it DeathPoop.
Conker's Bad Fur Day, #2 (Get It?)
Yes, Conker's Bad Fur Day is once again on the list, which is totally not a shock if you've played the game. This time Conker is switching things up, and doing battle with poo, rather than creating it. One of the bosses in the game is called The Great Mighty Poo, and he actually has pieces of corn for teeth. His weapon of choice? Projectile turds. I think I just threw up in my mouth. And speaking of ...
Boomer Spew in Left4Dead
Zombies in general are fairly gross. They are undead, in a permanent state of decay, and lust for human flesh and brains. However there is one special infected zombie in Left4Dead that goes above and beyond. I'm of course talking about Boomers. Boomers are large, fat and bloated zombies that produce copious amounts of bile. They launch vomit attacks on to humans that cause blindness, and also has the unfortunate side effect of attracting hordes of zombies. How thoughtful.
Gluttony Regurgitates in Dante's Inferno
Dante's Inferno sent the game's protagonist to hell and on the way down he made a stop at Gluttony. A disgusting level filled with obese monsters puking all over the place. Then there is Cerberus, a re-imaging of the ancient three-headed dog that is now a worm like creature, who just happens to vomit from all three mouths. That's a triple yak-attack for those of you keeping score at home.
Those are some of our favorite highlights (and lowlights, really), but what about you? What are your favorite bodily functions in video games? We're still hoping that one of these days someone will create a video game version of Don't Whiz On The Electric Fence.
The Best Bodily Functions In Video Games -- Burps, Farts And Poop


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