Remember when the Wii launched back in 2006? And days after it came out, we read a million reports of smashed TVs, smashed faces and smashed egos? Since Kinect launched, we've recieved one report of a broken TV, but we suspect the injuries and broken furniture from Microsoft's motion sensing camera device are just begining.
We've played a lot of Kinect here at G4, and feel confident that we will see the following injuries when the Microsoft Kinect gains a wider base of users.
"I Can Do This For Real!"
When I was playing Sonic Free Riders, in which you often have to jump, stretch, lean, kick, and punch, I noticed that if my onscreen avatar was doing it, I thought I could do it. You know, like hurtling down a steep ramp at breakneck speed before leaping across a chasm made out of hot lava. This game is sort of like training, right? I could totally pick up a board and shred some powder at Vail without falling on my ass, because I never made Sonic fall down once. Well, here's a tip: Sonic never falls down. He might catch on fire or have his vision obscured by octopus ink, but he'll never wipeout. Therefore, I must have superhuman powers of agility. So, I predict a rash of "I CAN DO THIS IN REAL LIFE!"-itis. Just wait until some poor kid tries to play with a Bengal tiger, or make their car do multiple flips while they're hanging out the window with one hand on the steering wheel.
Beating Up The Beat (and your friends)
Scenario 3: Realistically most people don’t have 80 ft of living room to spare. Close quarters and any game on co-op will result in injuries. I can foresee many black eyes because of “the torch” in Dance Central.
Faceplants into the Television
Given that some of us have yet to master the art of walking here at G4, a well developed sense of balance isn’t exactly our single advantage leading into a game play session with the Kinect. And through all the running, jumping, punching, ducking, dodging and kicking, we’re certain that there’s a real possibility of spilling forward, face-first, into our newly purchased 46-inch LCD home theater system if we lose our footing for a split second. Also, given the sheer amount of furniture reconstruction required to clear an extra ten feet in our already compressed living room, we’ve already nearly taken a spill backwards over our displaced couches. We give it a week before one of us is writing stories in a neck brace or cast.
Dog-Kicking: The Game
Scenario 1: Let’s say “Jimmy” has a small dog that often lurks around his feet, as dogs often do. Jimmy doesn’t notice “Twinkles” so he continues to play Kinect Sports. Suddenly, Jimmy prepares to make a goal, reaches back for the kick, and then Twinkles gets catapulted into the TV, injuring both dog and TV. [photoshop pending]
"Ow, my aching [BLANK]!"
While more colorful, esoteric injuries are certain to occur with Kinect, I forsee a largely underground wave of countless millions of quiet injuries. Gamers are a generally sedentary lot (it comes with the territory), and Kinect will make you really want to jump up and play, and when that happens, expect a metric crap-ton of strained ankles, messed up knees, aching backs and every other kind of injury.
Coffee Table Destruction
Scenario B: It’s going to be common that people will be tripping, loosing balance, or mis-stepping. This easily could lead to loss of coffee table. I think this will mostly likely look like ~3:00 into this video.