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Kinect Support: Games That Should Have Been

mdalonzo
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Posted November 4, 2010 - By Mike D'Alonzo






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Whether you have an Xbox 360 Elite, an Xbox Arcade, the new Xbox Slim, or even an old Xbox Core, Kinect works with all of them. That makes today is a pretty significant day in the world of gaming, as Microsoft drops their motion-controlled bomb, which makes YOU the controller, and brings us ever closer to the eventual technological takeover of the universe. Sure, today we're giving commands to our Xbox, but one of these days, we might be the ones being controlled. Think on that for a minute...
 
Kinect Enabled Games That Should Have Been
 
In the meantime, Kinect is fun times, and its presence in the world of gaming only makes things better, and gives developers more options. But while your Kinect might work with every Xbox, you know what won't? Your games. Let's take a look at some games that would have been greatly helped by being Kinect-supported, shall we?
 
 
Kinect Enabled Games That Should Have Been
 
 
Remember how much fun it was to control your Katamari as it roamed the countryside, swelling with everything that stuck to it in the process? Think about how much more fun it would be if you were the Katamari. I can see it now: tumbling around the living room in a non-stop somersault, trying to avoid would-be haters that drop stuff from you, all attempting to not get yourself sick and rolling into your (carefully moved aside) coffee table and getting a nasty bruise all at the same time! Or, if you're not particularly gifted at tumbling, how about one of those human hamster balls, like the ones deployed at every Flaming Lips concert since 2003? Get in that thing and roll over stuff both onscreen and off. Sure, you'll end up destroying your living room like you were Led Zeppelin in a hotel circa 1974, but you'll have a hell of a time doing it!
 
Kinect Enabled Games That Should Have Been
 
 
The real joy in Dead Rising 2 is the idea that anything you come across can become a weapon. Well, if Kinect can be taught to recognize everyday objects in your home, you can turn them into the same zombie-bashing implements you would if you found them in the game. Just grab whatever's handy, or gather a bunch of stuff from your garage, and see what sort of cool and destructive blunt force objects you can make from them. Flea markets and yard sales make the game more interesting and fun: think of them as live-action DLC! Again, you will likely destroy whatever room you're playing in, but when it's this much fun, and the fate of all of humanity is at stake, who cares?
 
Kinect Enabled Games That Should Have Been
 
 
Two options here, and both of them are pretty fun. Either you can find yourself a princess to sit in the room with you and try to eliminate people from coming to take her away by smushing cake in the face of your seated partner, or you can be the princess and eat as much cake as humanly possible! I suppose you don't really need a game to let you eat cake, but it's so much more fun when the idea is that you eat cake in the interest of saving your kingdom, isn't it? Sure, this is one of Sony's babies, which means space and time would have to fold in on itself, but we can still imagine. Eating virtual food is definitely on the way.
 
Kinect Enabled Games That Should Have Been
 
 
You might have to set up a table in your living room to replicate a bar, but how much fun would it be to fling beer steins at the wall, trying to collect empties before they fall on your floor and shatter all over the place? Perhaps it would be more fun if you played with the broken glass all over the floor, and try and finish the game before you lose enough blood to have to be taken to the hospital. Of course, I suppose you could always get a job as a bartender, but what fun would that be? Established locations tend to get upset when you hurl entire beer mugs across the bar. 
 
Kinect Enabled Games That Should Have Been
 
 
It's a real barnburner on Xbox Live Arcade, but how great would it be if you could play Uno with actual cards? I imagine a deck just like the one in the game, and you could play them, and Kinect could read which card you played, and ... wait, what? You can play Uno with real cards right now? With real people and all? This already exists? Well, f**k me, then. Why don't you just do that? Of course, if you have no real live friends, it might not be any fun at all. If only there were a card game you could play by yourself, you know, like that Solitaire they used to have on your computer? That would be WAAAAAAAY fun. Plus you won't have anyone to offend by flashing your junk.

 
Oh, well, clearly there's a good reason that I'm not working in the Kinect project offices, determining what's going to happen next. Maybe you guys could do a better job than me. What games do you think would be good on Kinect? Oh, and if you haven't played it yet, prepare to have your mind blown. It's pretty effin' good.
Kinect Support: Games That Should Have Been
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