You didn't play Alan Wake, did you? It's okay, you can admit it here. This is a safe, trusting enviroment where you will not be judged and belittled (much).
Now that you've confessed, you need to start making amends, and there's no time like now. You need to buy Alan Wake, right now, and play it. Look, here's a link to retailer GoGamer selling the game for only $29.90. That's half-price on a game that's twice as good as you deserve. Go ahead. Get it. I'll wait.
Have you put your order in? Seriously, stop reading this until you've ordered that game. You'll thank me. I promise. We'll both be better off. Look, I don't want to stage a full scale intervention, but I will if I have to. Maybe this look at the game's first fifteen minutes will convince you: