Top 5 Unqualified-To-Be-Called Golf Games


Posted August 3, 2010 - By Jake Gaskill

Top 5 Unqualified-To-Be Golf Games

As the vast majority of you are obviously aware, the 92nd annual PGA Championship, the final golf major of the year, kicks off at Whistling Straights in Kohler, Wisconsin on August 12. And while the pros are busy preparing to battle the course’s famous fescue roughs, we figured we’d take a look back at some of the more…unique golf games that have graced various consoles and platforms over the years. We've already shown you the top golf games, so next up on the tee: the Top 5 Unqualified-to-be-Called Golf Games.

5. Sega Splash! Golf:

Sure, this PC title from Sega was only released in Japan, and features various iconic Sega characters acting as caddies for two wanna-be golf stars named Rusk and Miel, and one of the golf courses featured in the game has a very loose “skateboards on the fairway” policy. But the game, at least judging from the trailer, does have a ridiculously infectious soundtrack, which is always appreciated, especially when you have a game that features a supersonic hedgehog helping you decide between a six or seven iron.

4. Outlaw Golf:

The Outlaw Golf series took all the majesty, tradition, and sophistication of golf (2010 Tiger Woods and John Daly aside), and gave it a raunchy, white-trash makeover, complete with busty ladies, redneck fellas, and enough sophomoric “humor” to make Suda 51 shake his head. Surprisingly, the actual gameplay wasn’t all that terrible (in fact, it’s hard to make a “bad” golf game, since all you need is a semi-decent swing mechanic), but the overall package made you feel like you needed a tetanus shot just from looking at the game. Make sure you have the proper protection before checking out the following character trailer for Outlaw Golf 2:

3. Sexy Golf (featuring Leilani Dowding) :

Top 5 Unqualified-To-Be Golf Games

Sex and video games (and actually golf now that I think about it) have a long and sordid history. In the interest of derailing this discussion into a full-blown “History of Sex and Games” piece, I’ll simply say that it’s never a surprise when you see some genre of game get the whole “sexy” treatment, and it never fails to amuse. It’s for this reason that Selatra’s mobile game Sexy Golf featuring Leilani has found its way onto our list. The game features two “sexy,” yet presumably competent golfers, two courses, and “exclusive hot images of your host Leilani in some great golf poses.” There's classy, then there's extra classy, and then there's Sexy Golf

2. Lil' Jon Crunk Golf:

I debated putting another mobile golf game on the list, but after watching the game's trailer, there was no doubt it deserved a spot. I mean, the game starts with Lil’ Jon screaming, “It’s time to play gow-lf”! Throw in the fact that you don’t actually play golf, but rather attempt to smash various cityscape objects as billboards, windows, and even people with well-placed golf balls fired off of rooftops, and that you can use “crunk juice” for more control over your shots, and you have a recipe for one fantastically absurd golf title. This needs a console remake, asap.

1. Ninja Golf:

This Atari 7800 title from BlueSky Software tops the list, not only because it answers the age old question, “Are ninjas good at golf?”, but also because I genuinely wish I could play it. It’s the kind of insane that you just don’t see very often, and it’s really a shame. I mean, it would be enough to just have a game where you have to kill gophers and other evil animals as you run from shot to shot, but the fact that you also battle other ninjas (why is there one ninja on a golf course let alone dozens trying to kill that one golfing ninja?!), hole-protecting dragons, and even, based on this gameplay montage, sharks, puts this game into the upper echelons of ridiculous games, golfing or otherwise. Because life is awesome, you can actually play a Flash version of the game here, and this site has an Atari 7800 emulated version of the original game (if you get this up and running somehow, definitely let me know).

Top 5 Unqualified-To-Be-Called Golf Games


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