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Top Five Games To Play In A Post Oil Slick World

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Posted June 2, 2010 - By Stephen Johnson


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You may have heard that an oil spill is happening in the Gulf of Mexico right now, and in spite of BP’s delightfully named efforts to impede the flow of crude into the ocean (Top Hat, Kill Shot, Junk Shot, Top Kill) nothing yet has staunched the flow even a bit. We may have to face the fact oil will continue gushing forth from the bowels of the earth for months, maybe years, killing all sea life and sea-based commerce in a significant part of the world. Happy beginning of summer, everyone.

But fear not, citizen: The environmental and human cost of this worst-disaster-in-history won’t prevent me from pivoting to make some stupid jokes about video games, believe me! Be prepared for your brave new future with my list of Games To Play To Prepare For Our Post-Oil Spill World.

Games To Play In A Post Oil-Slick World

Endless Ocean: Gulf of Mexico Edition – The gentle diving and sea-life simulator Endless Ocean lulled gamers to sleep with its no-danger, exploratory gameplay, but an oil slick version would provide hours of excitement… if you can deal with the innovative, all-black graphics of a simulation of a dip into the Gulf of Mexico.

World of Goo


World of Goo -- Perhaps the most prophetic game title in history, players in World of Goo use goop balls to build structures and eventually drain the goo from the planet… until the next level, of course. Playing this game will prepare you for our new existence where we must constantly interact with slimy balls of petroleum. (You can’t really build anything out of balls of oil, dummy.)

Boy and His BLob of Oil

A Boy and His Blob (of Oil) – If I’ve learned nothing from video games and science fiction movies, I’ve learned that, eventually, all toxic waste will become sentient and turn on its creators. Right now, BP is mixing the oil flowing out of that pipe with Corexit, a chemical designed to disperse the oil. Once a bolt of lightning hits this gloppy mix, I predict a sentient blob will emerge from the dark water, exactly like the one in A Boy and His Blob... except black… And evil as hell itself. Anyway, learn the habits of your new blob overlords in this delightful Wii title.

Offshore Tycoon

Offshore Tycoon -- In this Wii time-management game, players run a fishing business, a boat, a cannery, and a seafood restaurant. None of these businesses will exist in the future, but fisherman and cannery workers will want to play this game in memory of their past livelihood, when the sea provided a bounty and their children could eat.

Metal Gear With Oil

Metal Gear Solid 4 -- I’m not saying anyone should use this game as a trainer to learn the art of espionage, weapondry, stealth and sneaking around in order to infiltrate the heavily-fortified boardrooms and estates of executives who run British Petroleum in order to bring them to justice for the devastation they’ve wrought on the world; I’m just saying I’d understand it if someone did.

Top Five Games To Play In A Post Oil Slick World
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