Cheats and Walkthroughs
In honor of 4.20, TheFeed is proud to present a list of the top five food-related games ever made in video game history. Enjoy it with some raw cookie dough and a huge glass of milk.
Pac-man-- Old-school games are really heavy on creatures eating one another, a theme that isn’t explored in modern games nearly enough, and 1983’s sensation Pac-Man is the granddaddy of all eating-games. Pac-Man’s whole thing is eating: He munches on thousands of dots and a few brightly colored power pills that turn his predator-ghosts into prey. Then he eats the ghosts. Pac-Man eats everything wakka-wakka-wakka including dots and power pellets and ghosts and apples and pears and pretzels and your soul.
Ms. Pac-Man isn’t as good a game. Why isn’t Ms. Pac-Man in the kitchen making Pac-Man a sandwich? That’s not very realistic.
Fat Princess -- The titular princess in this PS3 game lives to eat, and she’s so beloved by her minions that they run around slaughtering thousands of people in different colored hats just to protect her and bring her more cake. She’s a big lady, sure, but you know what? I still think she’s attractive. If Fat Princess were real, I would date her. I’m not embarrassed to admit it, either. Fat Princess and I would sit around on a custom-made, reinforced bed and feed each other slices of strawberry cake all day. Then, diabetes would set in. Then I’d say, “Are you eating that piece of cake…or is the cake eating you??!” and I’d cry.
Burgertime -- In this arcade classic, a miniature chef walks over patties of meat and lettuce leaves that fall off platforms onto the ground. Mmm! Delicious floor-burgers! Eggs and hot dogs chase the chef around and try to murder him for doing his job. This is the most disgusting restaurant ever because the food has come to life and the cook walks all over the hamburgers. Still, if BurgerTime was real, I’d eat those burgers, because I have an adventurous spirit.
Yo! Noid -- In English, we call the NES game Yo! Noid “I, Noid.” It stars The Noid, a forgettable adver-character from Domino’s Pizza commercials in the 1980s. In the ads, The Noid’s raison d’etre is to ruin other people’s pizza. “A Noid hates hot pizza,” the commercial’s announcer says, “He loves to make your hot pizza cold.” What a d*ck. The Noid’s backstory is never revealed, so I’ll just assume he has a small penis.
Anyway, the NES game is a run-of-the-mill, half-assed platformer that I’m including on this list only because each level ends with a pizza eating contest, which you'd think the Noid would hate, but he loves them. I’m thinking about eating pizza…right now. You do it too. It’ll be fun.
Deadly Premonition -- I’m including the Xbox 360 game Deadly Premonition on this list because of the main character’s psychic connection to coffee (seriously, he gets psychic messages from cups of Java) and because he’s totally fascinated with biscuits. Also because Deadly Premonition is the best game to ever play on 4.20. I mean, have you seen this game? I don’t condone using illegal substances, but you should make certain preparations, then play this game.
Not on list: Cooking Mama -- Before you start whining, Cooking Mama is not on this list because that game is about cooking things, not eating things. I just won that argument before it started.
If you want more 4.20 related web fun and/or hilarity, check out our sister blog, Attack of the Blog, who are celebrating 4.20 in style!