It's a long ride from Los Angeles to the woods of Washington. Andrew Pfister's 1983 Bonaventure is a roomy car, sure, but the transmission is shot so it's stuck in second gear. We can't go over 25 miles per hour, and Andrew keeps telling everyone to "shut the hell up" because "it's a classic automobile." My laptop still has a little juice, so I guess I'll report the news.
Anyway, Video provider YouTube has begun offering text only videos. Just go to YouTube, and change the field that offers video quality to "TEXTp." YouTube proudly proclaims: "By using text-only mode, you are saving YouTube $1 a second in bandwidth costs"
The new feature went live at 12 AM on April 1, causing many to belive that ASCII YouTube is an April Fool's prank, but I'm not so sure. I think YouTube is covertly giving us a way to look deeper into their videos. One of our top Sasquatch researchers (Jake Gaskill, drunk) has been pouring over text-only Bigfoot (above) and has determined that the image enhancement reveals that Bigfoot's nose is actually a bracket!
Here's what Heavy Rain would look like as a text adventure:
And here's Mario: