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Attention pervs, rain-coaters, creeps and volleyball super-fans: Tecmo today announced the existence of Dead or Alive: Paradise, a handheld sexy-time bathing-suit simulator that promises the ability to control nine barely clad ladies and "mingle, flirt, play, take snapshots and challenge them in mini-games." It comes out in spring 2010 for the PSP. Here is a feature list:
- Social Photographer: You're equipped with a camera to take around the island and take photos of anyone in sight
- Mini-Games: Earn money by scoring high in beach volleyball, pool hopping and at the casino
- Befriending: Give gifts and grow a stronger bond with the other girls
- Bathing Suits Galore: Choose your favorites from over 100 designs
- Private Paradise: Watch Paradise Flicks of girls on New Zack Island, some of whom may be wearing your favorite bathing suit
- Chill Out to Your Favorite Tunes: Use MP3s in the Music folder of your Memory Stick Duo™ as the soundtrack to your fantasies
Having played Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 on the 360 long enough to be frustrated by it, I hope this new handheld version isn't as complicated and pointless as its predecessor. Also: I'll be embarrassed to play it on the bus, as I have a reputation to uphold (I am a pillar of my community).
What do you think, people? Is the rampant objectification of women upsetting to your delicate sensibilities? Or are you more like, "That's sad"? Perhaps you think: "Loosen up for a minute. What's wrong with a little T&A?"
By the way, we have a full gallery of screenshots right here... I won't tell anyone you clicked on it, I promise.
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Comments
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Snowolf
Fighters have always held a special place to me. From those lonely days of MKII and Street Fighter Alpha Xtreme Super Ultra Dulex somethingorother 2 in the molded-foot-smelling arcades at the mall. But I have always loved the "sexy string-bikini cat-fight vidja game that I could try to play seriously but would only last for about 3 minutes before I was playing one handed" games that have been DOA since the first one. But when I saw the Tina trailer of this my first thought was "don't I already have this on my PC?" and "What are those? Air-filled ballon physX?" So with all the depravity that will be this game and all its OBVIOUS faults...I think I'll just wait for DOA:XXX if I want to see Kasumi looking all sexy in (or preferably out) her delicious Daisy Dukes. DOA:XXX better be on its way Tecmo...or else.
SonicATL
For ____ sake, just make an AO title already. You know teenage perverts are going to spank their monkeys w/ this. Go ahead and take it to the next level: D.O.A.: XXX.
Fusion13
it would be great to see someone playing this on the bus
erosennin987
lolz @ FLP_B01's comment!!! xD
redran3
hey dead or alive give us fightinggames not bathing suit simualtors aw for the lvoe of fighters
devil may cry sucker
dead and alive sucks
SourProphit
I really liked DOAX. It was provocative, but in an innocent way, if that makes any sense, and it was a sort of refreshing tangent to gaming so now you didn't have to go through the trials of playing a fighting game or action game or whatever if you just felt like looking as something pretty.
DOAX2 then kinda felt like the slutty sister of strait-A student DOAX. Not enough was changed for the better and far too much changed for the worse, especially considering the full next-gen game price. It was a faster way to get what you want, so to speak, but at the cost of being far more shameless. (and to kick that dead horse some more, those breast physics make me want to puke, from both disappointment and motion sickness)
All that said though, if I owned a PSP, I'd get this one too.
KnuxSonic
So disappointed. How could Tecmo pass up on a DS version? Think about it. Touch support, mic support and webcam? This could become the ultimate... one handed game.
FLP_B01
well it's a good thing the game would be on PSP...
cause it'll be hard to bring your HDTV & PS3 inside the bathroom.
Redd75
I'm obviously off my game tonight. I read all the way to the last bullet point before I noticed her bikini top had hand prints on it.
Schr0mmel
okay so you're missing the biggest thing here, no it's a "pair of..." or a "set of..." it's this:
WHO IS THIS NEW RED HEADED CHARACTER?!
LoveLifeMusic
I miss dead or live after playing tekken6 I miss the gorgeous graphics and tag team game play
FacePhoenix
Somebody is definitely breaking out the baby oil for this - I just hope I don't meet them. I already ran into enough weird-dos fighting poster boxes, talking to themselves & waiting at bus stops for invisible buses. Now with this development I'll have a new friend to sit 4 rows away from.
Renaissance Spam
It's funny, my girlfriend and I were just talking about videogames using sex to trojan in a quality game (we were playing Bayonetta at the time). Dead or Alive came up which obviously led to the Beach Volleyball games. Now they've decided to ditch the volleyball gimmick and just parade the girls around.
Well, points to Tecmo for finally removing all pretenses with their wankware, but seriously guys, you're coming off more and more like a bunch of teenagers sneaking into the girls change room.
rukdreg
It's always so sad to see a promising, young fighting game franchise turn to softcore porn just to get by. The entertainment industry is such a cruel, cruel place.
rayken15
haha wow do we really need another one of these?
Moye
How come I know like 4 guys who would be so excited for this game?
topgamer101
So Tecmo is now more concerned with parading their almost doll like girls around for guys to poke and prode at instead of creating the next fighter in the series or god forbid a new IP...
blueboykc
ooohhhh..psp..its not seriously gonna be 40 bucks right?!?!?
blueboykc
k...but its not seriously gonna be 60 bucks right?
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