December 21st, 2019

Dear Me,

It's you. Don't be alarmed, I am merely transcending time and spa...oh right, you've already written one of these time-travelin' letter things. In fact, if my calculations are correct, you should have just finished writing the one to you...er, us, back in 1999.

You're still working for what we used to call G4 (it's “Sesslervisión Online” now), and you're in charge of original features, groundskeeping, and the National Broadcasting Company. You are doing...okay...at your job. It's time once again for the whole “decade in review” thing, and like you just did for Pfister '99, I wanted to give you a sneak peak at 2010-2019. If I remember correctly, you are currently sitting down. Good. Everything I'm about to reveal is 100% the truth, and as you well know, we only lie to our present self.

Right now, you're playing Modern Warfare 2 on your Xbox 360. Your HD television is 60” diagonal, takes up your entire living room, and is laughably two-dimensional.

Ten years from now, you're a 3-star general in World of Warfare 2, and tonight you're leading your Ranger team on an assault on a key oil rig (yep, still with the oil rigs). Klepek and his Predator drone crew will be providing air support. Just make sure your wireless holographic projectors are charged, properly positioned, and synced with your sonic implants before the mission begins.

Seriously.

Everything has changed, and a lot will happen between then and now. In 2019, you'll own zero consoles. In fact, you won't “own” anything anymore. Cloud computing and copyright law gets pretty messy, everyone streams everything using subscription-based services, and nobody buys games, movies, music or books from stores anymore. (GameStop is now a retailer of children's clothing. Best Buy is a chain of pizza restaurants.)

Nintendo has officially retired Mario, Metroid, and Zelda. Sony's getting ready to release Gran Turismo 6. Microsoft probably should have put more effort into their first-party games at the turn of the decade, because...well, I'll let that one be a surprise. Sega's still making really bad Sonic games. For Facebook 3D.

That Nintendo DS you have is pretty awesome, but you know what's more awesome? The Apple-Amazon AllPod you'll own in eight years. Just a little holographic projector you keep in your ear that controls every single aspect of your digital life, from media management, to portable gaming, to hybrid online/retail shopping, and to starting your hydrogen-fueled car. That cool Minority Report thing? Yep.

I know you've got a lot of post-crunch sleep to catch up on, so I'll wrap this up with some vague advice about your future. I know you're excited about Metroid: Other M right now, but you might want to readjust your expectations. Whatever you do, don't buy the first generation of 3D televisions -- doctors will find the damage to be irreversible. The V remake doesn't get any better. Wait for the first PlayStation 4 price drop (10-year cycle...yeah, not so much). Keep at the guitar, because the show you play in Denver in '15 will be the best night of your life. Start learning Chinese immediately. USA taking the 2018 World Cup might sound like a bad bet, but it's not. “Roger” is a terrible name both for your son and your dog, you can do better.

Gotta go, Favre's about to take the field. That would be his daughter, Brittany, who is starting QB for the Packers.

She plays Brett and the Bears next Sunday.

Temporal regards,

Me/You, from 2019

(P.S. That thing with the girl right now. Don't worry about it, you'll be fine.)

(P.P.S. I'm totally jealous you get to watch Lost: The New Survivors again for the first time!)