Hey, masochists, I am about the blow your mind with the awesome power of the internet. Check this out: If you download this special version of Internet Explorer 8, you not only receive the web browser, you receive a free, previously unreleased Nickelback track. That's right, you not only receive a fine Microsoft product with which to look at the web, you also can "rock out" to the music of one of the finest bands in rock and roll history.
Either that or you could sit in a parking lot and eat dirt -- your choice.
I asked Attack of the Show comedy guru Casey "Office Jesus" Shreiner about the deal, and he said, "Isn't having to use Internet Explorer enough of a punishment?"
Update: The name of this band is "Nickelback." I apologize to the band and all of their fans for misspelling the name of this fine musical combo in my original post.