Upcoming rock and/or roll simulator Guitar Hero: Van Halen features all the members of seminal metal band Van Halen... if you don't count original bassist Michael Anthony and later singers Gary Cherone and Sammy Hagar. Perhaps due to inter-band squabbling and a reluctance to share that lucrative Guitar Hero royalty money, the trio have been left out of the game. In place of original bassist Anthony, Eddie's son Wolfgang Van Halen appears in the game... and he's even dressed like Anthony.

So is this a real Van Halen game, or is it more like Van Failin'? To answer this important question, I talked to Frank Meyer, the biggest Van Halen fan from here to Gardena. Backstory: Frank is personal friends with David Lee Roth (no lie) and has partied with Eddie Van Halen (again, no lie.) So he's an expert.

Me: Frank, is this a true Van Halen game?

Frank: Yes. Because true Van Halen features "Diamond" Dave Lee Roth on vocals. Sammy Hagar doesn’t count, and I won’t even mention Gary Cherone.

Me: But what about Michael Anthony? That guy played bass on all of Van Halen's best songs!

Frank: It would be awesome if Michael Anthony was in the game, but Eddie Van Halen doesn’t make a move without Wolfgang, So if it takes Wolfgang being in the game to bring the various Van Halen forces together, it's totally worth it. Plus, if you squint your eyes, it just looks like a short fat guy on bass, so what’s the difference?

So there you have it, folks: Go get yer Van Halen game when it comes out this fall.

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