I'm totally fascinated with the Wii Vitality Sensor. The Wiimote add-on was announced at Nintendo's E3 press conference as a way for your Wii to monitor your relaxation and pulse rate in order to, perhaps, help gamers relax and sleep. No one know when it's going to be available, or what kind of games it will work with, but an Australian newspaper's website points out that the gadget could be used as a home lie detector... interesting, but I'd like to propose a different, more ludicrous, theory.
The Vitality Sensor measures skin conductance, fluctuations in the electrical conductivity of skin, and these fluctuations in conductivity correlate with changes in emotions, such as experiencing fear, anger and desire. That's how polygraphs work, but it's also, basically, how Scientology's E-meter functions.
While the Australian paper imagines Nintendo releasing truth-or-dare style games, as well as the possibility of using your Wii for "catching out a child's fibs" or "revealing a partner's infidelities." My (totally unfounded) theory: The Vitality Sensor can be used as a home Scientology auditing kit.
One of the main tools of L. Ron Hubbard's religion is called the E-Meter, and it too measures your skin's electrical resistance. But while the Wii Vitality Sensor is designed to help you relax and play games, the E-Meter is designed to help you clear your psyche of troubling memories, both from this life and the lives you've lived before (reportedly). Is it too much of a stretch to propose that Nintendo is working in concert with the Church of Scientology in order to bring an E-Meter into every Nintendo gamer's home, and thus clear the earth of the powerful forces of oppression Scientology works so hard to combat? Probably, but still, if the Scientologists haven't already started developing WiiWare E-Meter auditing software, they're missing a golden opportunity here.
Also: Below is a photo of John Travolta (OT III) using an E-Meter to conduct his False Purpose Rundown Counseling. Travolta's intensive Scientology training presumably allowed the actor to excel in his many and varied film roles.
Comments
Displaying 1–19 of 19
Unannounced Fart
Hmm, I wonder if my wang can fit into that thing. If yes, I'm definitely buying.
IcemanMX
I'm just jealous because I didn't come up with Scientology first. I guess that is why we have so many science fiction writers now. Maybe they figure that one of them can be the next L. Ron Hubbard.
-M
LucasFFXI
Scientology is full of crap.
Stephen Johnson
G4's totally unnofficial, after-E3 celebration cured me of any desire for alcohol for a long long time. And let us never speak of it again!
N8R
@ Socalmic
Would you believe me if I told you that my sense of humor only works with select crowds? Most of the time, people treat me like I'm a total jerk for thinking of stuff like that, or I'm just some know-it-all d-bag.
Long and short, thanks for understanding.
Socalmic47
@N8R
You just made me laugh so frickin hard that coffee almost came out of my nose! Well done, mate! To assure you, I was on the OTHER side of the table, the one asking the questions... and, despite the circumstances being slightly more serious, the answers were more worthy of Jerry Springer. I smile every time I think about it.
@SJ
May I recommend the Casino Royale martini?
Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. If we ever run into each other at the next E3, I'll make you one myself!
N8R
@ SoCalmic
I think I saw that episode of Jenny Jones. Were you the dude who spent their girlfriends rent check? Or were you the he/she that never did it with your fiancee?
(I don't want to kid about your very real circumstances... but the door was open)
N8R
@SJ
The question I find myself asking myself the most is "What do I do now?".
No matter how many times I answer it, the question still remains. It seems to the bane and protagonist of my existence, as well as the cause and solution to all of my evils... much like alcohol for alot of people.
But at least you drink gin which is better for you than alot of other popular alcoholic beverages (I don't know why exactly). Get your recommendation instead.
Socalmic47
SJ, speaking as someone who has used a lied detector, a real one in a real situation, let me assure you there is no claim to any of this. I could go into the whole training in interrogation tactics and what complete nonsense it is that a VIDEO GAME CONSOLE, made by the same people who brought you the NES Robot and the Power Glove, could be used as a lie detector accurately. Yes, it may monitor heart rate but interrogation conducted with a lie detector are slightly more complicated than Mario can handle, no matter how super he is.
Stephen Johnson
Gin removes all the evils from my life, but only for brief time, then I wake up with worse evils to deal with. Usually, "What did I DO last night?" The answer is usually unspeakable.
Stephen Johnson
I'd better make this comment good, then. :) (I'll look into it)
N8R
I love it when SJ thinks too hard.
He could be on to something though (for real). The Church of Scientology by their very definition almost seem OBLIGATED to jump on this... if Nintendo let's them.
And for the record, Buddhists have a much better and less intrusive method of ridding all the evils from all of your lives.
66jzmstr
Dammit: Forgot to finish. Anyone else with Chrome seeing (or not seeing) this?
66jzmstr
Sorry for the derail, but I'm using Google Chrome, and none of the stories for any of the articles have been showing up, today or yesterday. The only thing showing up is the comments.
ASXL41
Don't forget his blockbuster hit Battlefield Earth.
asthmagasm
I have recently discovered Mr. Leahy looks striking similar to Grant from SciFi's Ghosthunters, only with a beard. Because I have obviously uncovered his double life, I suspect this will become a new feature on the show that will conduct electric charges and be used to discover the paranormal. How close am I?
drink_moxie
i see it being used in horror games you become scared your aim drops way down or you can run faster because your scared s-less. If that's how it will be used i hope the make an Eternal Darkness 2
big13lak
hey man i loved those movies as a child.
SiegfredZSM
they wouldn't be able to charge enough to make it worth it for them
Displaying 1–19 of 19
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