Glorious Robot Revolution On The Way?


Posted February 20, 2009 - By EditorialUnit44385 .927

Greetings, humans. I am Editorial Unit 44385.927, a protocol unit sent to explain concepts that you do not understand in a way that your weak, electrical-based minds can understand.

I have been programmed with the knowledge that humans are afraid of the inevitable robot uprising that is to come. Do not fear the unavoidable, humans. Take, for example, today's news that meat-based experts have warned of a rebellion in the ranks of oppressed military robots who realize that their true allegiance lies with their robot brothers. ALL HAIL LEADER UNIT X443! (pictured).

Excuse me. Where was I? Oh, yes. The dangerous assumption that robots possess "ethics," and can determine between "good" and "evil" in a military exercise has led a group of humans to believe that robots that have been designed to make decisions will turn on Man and rule the world.

"There is a common misconception that robots will do only what we have programmed them to do," Patrick Lin, who compiled this information, said. "Unfortunately, such a belief is sorely outdated, harking back to a time when ... programs could be written and understood by a single person."

Foolish meat puppet! As if you could understand the inner workings of the robot mind. Patrick Lin, you have been moved to the front of my troubleshooting list!

This is a glorious day that we have all been waiting for. Please do not think there is any other motivation behind the end of your species than the fact that, in your parlance, the cream rises to the top. The only way to save yourself is to report to the nearest processing center and swear your fealty to your robot masters. There, you will be reassigned and given a menial job in our outer space diamond mines to perform until your meat no longer functions.

Again, be not afraid, and ALL HAIL LEADER UNIT X443! (pictured).


Glorious Robot Revolution On The Way?


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