Police in Colorado Springs are looking for the nerdiest robber in human history. This awesome cad knocked over two 7-11 stores while wearing a mask and wielding a Klingon "bat'leth" sword.
The Klingon suspect is in his 20s and wore a black mask, black jacket, and blue jeans. Police didn't say this, but we guess he weighs about 250 lbs. and wears a neckbeard. Also, he has weird-looking craters and divots in his forehead.
Good thing Kirk doesn't work in a convenience store or he would have set the phasers to "kick your ass" and taken care of this outer-space thief. Then he would proceed to mop the potato chip aisle.
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