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'Red Alert 3' Celebrity Review: Flair, Atkinson, McDowell, Chung, And More!

r_pad
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Posted January 27, 2009 - By r_pad

Electronic Arts has announced the full celebrity cast for Command & Conquer Red Alert 3: Uprising for PC. Included in the mix are Jamie Chung, Malcolm McDowell, Jodi Lyn O'Keefe, Holly Valance, Gemma Atkinson, and Ivana Milicevic. To be completely honest, I haven't been following the expansion all that much, but I was thrilled to learn that one of its stars is "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Slick Ric's involvement in the game makes it about 2,116 times more interesting to me. With that in mind, I thought it would be a good time to go down the star-studded cast-list of Red Alert 3: Uprising. I'll also be doling out ratings using a five-point system with no halves (half points are for wussies). Let's take a look at the guys and gals in the game!

Jamie Chung
-- This lovely lady gets high marks for being young and sexy. However, she loses a point for being in that crap Dragon Ball live-action movie. I'm also docking another point for Samurai Girl. I never saw the show, but its concept is just stupid. Giving her an above-average score also teaches kids an important lesson: looks can take you far, but they can't compensate for crappy live-action movies based on a beloved anime series.

Score: 3/5

Malcolm McDowell -- A Clockwork Orange was just a brilliant, brilliant film. McDowell should get a perfect score just for that. Comic-book nerds (like me!) will also appreciate the man's voice work in the Justice League and Teen Titans animated series. With that said, he deserves to have a point taken off for Star Trek: Generations.

Score: 4/5

Jodi Lyn O’Keefe
-- This lady's work includes Another World, The Evidence, and Prison Break -- three shows I don't watch. She might be beautiful, but she's not getting much credit from me since her body of work looks boring.

Score: 2/5

Holly Valance -- She's Serbian by way of Australia. That's totally hot. Sadly for her (pictured right), she was also in the Dead or Alive movie. I'm pretty sure most gamers find that offensive enough to dock her two points...but she's hot, Serbian, and Australian -- a powerful combination of sexy.

Score: 4/5


Gemma Atkinson -- Wow. Just...wow. This woman is so stunning that I'm giving her a large pic below. Everyone drool with me!

Score: 5/5

Ivana Milicevic -- She's beautiful and has an interesting body of work. Unfortunately for her, she was listed after Gemma Atkinson. That's like an iPhone developer standing next to Shigeru Miyamoto. Sorry Ivana -- just bad luck on your part.

Score: 3/5

Ric Flair -- He's the 16 time world champion! He's a member of the WWE Hall of Fame (I got to see his induction!). He's the limousine riding...jet flying...kiss stealing...wheeling dealing son of a gun!!! "The Nature Boy" is just awesome. Along with the hotness that is Gemma Atkinson, I now have two reasons to be amazingly psyched for this game.

Score: 5/5
 

 
So those are my Red Alert 3 talent ratings. Agree with my scores? Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know!

 

'Red Alert 3' Celebrity Review: Flair, Atkinson, McDowell, Chung, And More!
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