Apparently, there is one less thing that will appear artificially enhanced in the upcoming GI Joe: The Revenge of Cobra: Sienna Miler's chest. In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, director Stephen Sommers has denied the claim made by the actress (who will play the Baroness) made last summer that he made her wear rubber padding that supposedly looked like "chicken fillets." According to Sommers:
"Everybody here laughed because they know I would never say that to an actress. I guess the costume department gave her a tight fitting bra, but no one gave her rubber breasts or whatever. It is 100 percent Sienna Miller."
THAT'S a relief, right? Anyway, Sommers (in what has to be considered the actual bit of news in this article) also gave EW some insight on his inspiration for the film:
"I always loved the old Bonds," he says. "It's funny now how Bond wants to be Bourne. I loved Quantum of Solace, but it was like, man, this is a completely different movie to the Bonds I grew up with. In a very contemporary way, G.I. Joe is inspired by the memory of the kind of movies I saw when I was younger. I remember being in the theater for Thunderball and the big underwater battle at the end of that movie just blew my socks off. In G.I. Joe, there's an underwater battle under the polar icecap that's Thunderball times 10!"
...Oh boy. I have had my worries about this film and from what we have seen, it looks like something that is trying to something. He wants a big underwater battle...fine. However, GI Joe is not Bond, GI Joe is GI Joe. I am not saying that it has to contain cornball dialogue, no-death carnage, and the "knowing is half the battle" wholesomeness of the cartoon series, but come on! If what we are seeing of the film is accurate, then some things need to be taken down a notch.
For one thing, this cast is way too crowded. Sometimes with a franchise adaptation, a creative team will try to cram in as many of the signature characters as they can into a film to appease fans. The problem is that the presence of those characters end up not being conducive to the film and they suffer for that. (Remember how Joel Schumacher butchered Bane?)
What they get is a giant "Street-Fighter-esque" trainwreck when it comes to character dynamics. (X-Men 3 is another good example.) Is there any effort to not make this same stumble here? Nope. The film looks completely crammed with a bunch of "stuff," as there is very little evidence that it is interested in telling the story of GI Joe. Rather, it just wants to leave you in awe of huge battle scenes and generic kung-fu, while donning the stamp of the GI Joe brand name. Sure, it seems that it will focus on the origins of rivals Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, but that seems to be something that would have been better tackled in a sequel. The GI Joe team itself is what should be the central focus.
The primary point is: Concentrate on the origin story. What is the GI Joe team? Why do we need them? What are they fighting for? What motivates them? And the same goes for Cobra. The battles within the film are irrelevant if there is nothing exciting or gripping to put them in context. The vibe that seems to be emanating from Sommers' words seem to be focused on these huge CGI battles that are meant to blow us away. Meanwhile, we are left with the question, why?
...Here's to hoping that the film turns out good. (And to Sienna Miller's non-enhanced breasts.)