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Games For The Next Great Depression

jmanalang
32 Comments

Posted October 18, 2008 - By jmanalang

Surely you've noticed how the stock market is tanking, and serious guys wearing suits are looking very, very concerned. Lots of folks are predicting another Depression. Depressions are, by their nature, depressing, but there's an upside to utter financial ruin. As NPR reminds us, video games are here to sooth us, and if everyone is out of work, there will be lots of time to play games.

So if this does turn into a great depression, here are some game suggestions to help you cheer-up and make you say "God Bless America" again. Just make sure to sell enough pencils to pay your electric bill!

Bethesda Softworks's Fallout 3 (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)

Hey, just like any problems you face in life, it could be worse. Fallout 3's post-apocalyptic setting is way tragic even compared with utter monetary devastation of a depression. It's like living in your parents' garage compared to being completely homeless, or vice-versa, whichever way you want to look at it. For what it's worth, just realize that current situations could lead to something way worse, let's say, a nuclear attack that will fill your body with so much radiation that you'll transform into something unimaginable. Wait, that'd be kinda cool...

Fallout 3 comes out this October 28.

Namco's Katamari Damacy series (PS2, PSP, Xbox 360)

What better way to take your mind-off on these economic turmoils than to be a little green dude as you roll-up all the random crap you find in Katamari Damacy? With its kick-ass soundtrack that just sticks to your head longer than a Backstreet Boys hit song, this game never fails to give out sheer, eccentric fun every time we pick up the controller. And c'mon, who can dress better than the King of Cosmos? Who?!?! Plus, the game's focus on constant, pointless accumulation will make you nostalgic for better days.

BurgerTime (NES)

Data East was on to something back in the NES days with their puzzle game Burger Time.  Taking on the role Peter Pepper, the game's protagonist, you'll make your way through the maze of ladders and platforms creating burgers while fending off humanoid food items.  Doing so you'd automatically end their lives as they were intent on your demise... yes, a game about making burgers was KILL or be KILLED.

After many hours logged into this baby while waiting in the soup kitchen line, you'll be primed for the moment when you're hunger can wait no longer and your fellow Americans start looking like homicidal humanoid food items as well.  Equipped with your training you should be very well prepared to kill every last offender and claim your prize in the awaiting soup kitchen.

Geo-Political Simulator (PC)

For the hopefuls or cynics this ultimate political simulation (That's gotta be fun!) could be the cure-all for hobo-times.  The bright-eyed optimists can take pride in understanding how to run the government and from the inside to hopefully rise through the ranks of a depressed society to "make a difference"... or more realistically the cynics can get a grasp of how this all came to pass and can be well-versed on why the "man" kept them down.

Cooking Mama (Wii, DS)

Who better to teach you how to turn that ol' shoe leather into a nice "vegetarian" steak than Taito's Cooking Mama for the Wii or DS.  The portable version would be most suitable as you forage the dreary wastelands of the countryside scavenging for sustenance.  Turn an ol' rotting cabbage into a masterpiece, or make hobo stew from real fresh hobo, and finish with a nice shoe-lace spaghetti.  MMmmmmmm.  Better cooking than Mama!

Of course, you're more than welcome to let us know your game suggestions below. God bless America.

Games For The Next Great Depression
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