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Microsoft Patents "Page Up," "Down?"

Posted by Stephen Johnson - Friday, August 22, 2008 2:14 PM

We've heard of ridiculous patents, but this one takes the cake: Apparently, Microsoft has patented the functions of the "page up" and "page down" keys on keyboards. Here's how the intro to the patent reads:

"A method and system in a document viewer for scrolling a substantially exact increment in a document, such as one page, regardless of whether the zoom is such that some, all or one page is currently being viewed."

Microsoft has also patented emoticons :-( and RSS feeds. Of course, a patent is really in effect until someone challenges it in court. We'll keep you posted on all news relating to this matter, of course.

We'd like to announce that we are filing patents for the enjoyment of feeling sunshine on your face, puppies and the number four(c). Don't enjoy any of those things without coughing up some bucks, sucka!

Source




Comment(s)

Posted by deleted_5209E621-4C9F-4F09-955B-9EA117856F1D - Friday, August 22, 2008 2:59 PM

I am officially announcing that I am going to patent the up, down, left, and right arrows on the keyboard ^(patent pending). Not because I invented it, but because I am the first to think of patenting it. So suck on that Micro$oft!

Posted by SkinnyJr - Friday, August 22, 2008 3:02 PM

That is so immensely idiotic

Posted by LOAGEEKS (BANNED) - Friday, August 22, 2008 3:04 PM

They figured if folks are dumb enough to pay for XBLGold .............................. .............................. ......

Posted by face0324 - Friday, August 22, 2008 3:15 PM

wow microsoft is a money grubbin whore!

Posted by deathsdelivery - Friday, August 22, 2008 5:16 PM

Yes Face0324, they are,
they could'nt care less about the consumer,
and could'nt care more about money.
Don't get me wrong, I love money(King of New York reference), if you piss off your consumers more, you will eventually have none.

Posted by blakseed - Friday, August 22, 2008 5:19 PM

Keep everything exclusive.

Posted by tentaro - Saturday, August 23, 2008 5:41 AM

McDonald's getting sued for making hot coffee was stupid but this takes the cake. Micro$oft drops to a new low. What's next?

Posted by Tman88 - Saturday, August 23, 2008 6:23 AM

Not many people even use those keys.

Posted by mercisan - Saturday, August 23, 2008 10:30 AM

^
I use them a lot. And I mean a lot.

Posted by CPRxChris - Saturday, August 23, 2008 2:20 PM

@ mercisan

I'm sure you do *sarcasm.*

More on topic,
Can they even do this? Page Up/Down is way too commonly used on keyboards and etc.

Posted by sinner_mass - Saturday, August 23, 2008 3:05 PM

I hereby patent spontaneous acceleration of mass due to atmospheric gravitational forces. So every you drop something or fall down you'd better have my money bitches! Put that in your pipe and smoke it micrsoft.

Posted by Nerdpunk - Saturday, August 23, 2008 9:44 PM

i'm gonna patent "replies & comments" on every source of media! pay up ladies!

Posted by JMShan88 - Sunday, August 24, 2008 2:07 PM

I hereby patent the function of the toilet handle.......I WILL BRING THE WORLD TO THEIR KNEES AND ALL WILL OBEY!!!!!!!1

Posted by gspider - Monday, August 25, 2008 9:53 AM

Hey maybe the Enter key is going to be next or maybe ESC, or F1-F2-F3 , come on this is stupid , looks like microsoft just like money money money

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