According to Psychologists at Northumbria University, English women prefer men with stubble for Sex, Love and Marriage. After showing a bunch of British birds pics of dudes with varying levels of facial hair, the study concluded that women dig the scruff. Except they said it like this in the journal Personality and Individual Differences: “Facial hair, or beardedness, is a powerful sociosexual signal, and an obvious biological marker of sexual maturity."
Our own experiments are being conducted by the entire male staff of G4, and sadly, it contradicts the researchers' data. Our evidence suggests that bearded men sweat profusely and use Wikipedia to settle arguments about comic books.