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Epic Fail: YouTube Videos

Posted by Stephen Johnson - Thursday, June 26, 2008 11:59 AM

It's hard for a YouTube video to be a failure. The bar is really low: Throw a funny wig on yourself and speed up the audio, and the youtube masses will think you're a comedy genius. Rant about the connection between George W. Bush and the outer-space lizard conspiracy and you'll be hailed as a political commentator of the highest order.

But some youtube videos are worse than bad. They manage to transcend the poor lighting, non-existent editing, self-aggrandizement and tedium of the standard youtube offering to become epic fails. Below, please find our choices for Epic Fail: Youtube Videos.

 jam with jake and tom awesome beatbox duo

 

 

 

 

Beatboxing is really hard. It's also really easy to tell who blows at it right when they start. Not only is this video about 3 minutes and 57 seconds too long, it's also atonal, arhythmic, and a waste of air. Putting awesome in the title just makes it hurt so much more.
--Ty Colfax

Best Video On YouTube Ever

 

 

 

 

It's not that the above stab at toast-related comedy is all that bad--it's merely mediocre--but the title of the video: "Best Video On Youtube Ever" builds us up for something amazing. Way to let us all down, swordsman87.
--Stephen Johnson

 Any "sXePhil" video

 

 

 

 

First of all, even this guy's name is an epic fail. I know you meant your username to be "Sexy Phil" but guess what moron, sXe does not mean sexy, it means straight edge. So unless you start X'ing up your hands, staying sober, and kicking some serious ass in the pit, I suggest you change your name. Oh also, you're not sexy at all. You look like a baby that was deprived of oxygen during birth. Second, you are not funny. At all. Ever. Your attempts at comedy makes my brain feel like it's been covered in hot sauce and vinegar. Your voice is annoying, your opinions are ill-informed, and you whine more than the entire California Napa Valley.

Third, and most important, YOU STEAL HITS. The only reason why you're on any front page of YouTube is because you artificially boost your views by putting a thumbnail of a hot girl and titling the video something like "California Love". Thank god I figured out your sad game early on and always check to see if any video I'm about to click on was posted from your account, because not even Al Gore himself could force me to watch such a travesty on the wonderful gift that is the internet.

So join me, ladies and gentleman, in my campaign to force Straight Edge Phil off of YouTube. Comment on his videos, make everyone you know call him Straight Edge Phil, and if anyone out there ever sees this guy out and about at a bar enjoying a beer, just point and laugh while screaming "SELL OUT" at the top of your lungs. Maybe then he'll stop, and we can all breath a sigh of relief.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that this post angered many people. To clarify, this was a humorous post not meant to be taken serously. I don't actually want Phil off YouTube, nor do I condone verbal or physical violence against the man (the "Sell out" comment was a joke refering to him drinking alcohol when his username denotes being straight edge). So please, don't hate Phil because I told you to, and don't hate me because I don't like Phil. It's the internet kids, don't take it so seriously. Can't we all just get along?
--Patrick Roche-Sowa

asfd

 

 

 

 

This epic fail YouTube video can be diagnosed very clinically. Here, we have 8 minutes of video from an unnamed and fairly indeterminable MMO where a non-descript character and a non-descript monster battle, performing the same non-descript moves over and over again, at a boring and rather poor angle providing no real perspective on the fight. The video title is the same as the description: asdf. Clearly the author had no time to provide the most basic of description information. Also, there is no sound and the video, as of this post, has only been viewed 87 times. This is as clear cut a case of YouTube failure as we are ever likely to see.

Bonus: Name the game this came from!
--Jonathan Hunt

 The Phone

 

 

 

 

Why would you take the necessary time to film and post this video? What is the meaning of all this? Someone please help to explain what’s going on here. Help! 
--Michael D'Alonzo 

Bonus Epic Win:

Sons of Nowhere by The Replacements

 

 

 

 

Some might think the above video for The Replacements "Bastards of the Young" is lame--it's just a 4 minute shot of a speaker-- but they're wrong. Tragically wrong. It's not lame at all; In actuality, the above is the most awesome video ever from the single greatest rock band in history.




Comment(s)


Posted by autobotjazz_314 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 12:33 PM
lol, well it looks like im first, ha!

Posted by autobotjazz_314 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 12:36 PM
also, i believe that the video 2 girls one cup should be an epic something, not nescesarily a fail(becuase it did not fail to gross ppl out) but maybe like an Epic WTF? or an Epic WHY THE HELL WOULD TWO GIRLS DO THAT???? or something along those lines.....

Posted by MaximusPaynicus - Thursday, June 26, 2008 12:37 PM
I'm with PRS on this one: Straight Edge Phil tries way, way too hard. In fact, he kind of reminds me of George Carlin... minus the humor... and the relevancy... and the charisma... and a different face...

...so yeah. Minus the humor, topical relevancy, presence, charisma and kick ass facial hair, this guy is exactly like George Carlin.

Now could somebody shoot him in the kneecaps and pour Tabasco sauce in the wounds, please?

Posted by JayDogg24 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:03 PM
I'm almost certain the generic MMO video is from Rappelz.

Posted by Gogaku - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:05 PM
The feed fails on only one point: "The best video on youtube ever" actually is the best video on youtube ever! It has toast, it has humans failing to dress as robots, and it has awesome 8bit music! It cannot fail!

Posted by saulpimpson - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:07 PM
str8 edge phil is a huge loser.

Posted by tedcwilliams - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:22 PM
I know I'm going to be the minority on this Comment Thread, but I'm going to have to disagree with Mr. Roche-Sowa on sxephil. Sure, not every one of his videos are a home-run, but then again, whose are? I find them entertaining with some interesting discussion points and find him funny as well. It is fair to say that he does artificially boost his video hits by putting women in bikinis on the thumbnail, but I think there is a strong base of viewers (like myself) who come back for him and not the hope of images of atractive women.

Humor is selective, and some people's comedic gold is another's groaner, and I can see where people can hate sxephil, butI'm in the camp that likes him.
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Posted by BONERJAM - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:23 PM
Since when do str8 edge kids kick ass in the mosh pit. That comment was an epic fail.

Posted by Utmost_NutsZo - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:28 PM
Epic Win: Leroy Jenkins

I don't care if it's real or fake - it's funny. I will watch it everytime someone links me to it.

Posted by wag317 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:34 PM
What?! No ps3 youtube fail?! you guys are slipping this week.

Posted by travelmaps - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:41 PM
sweet babies!

Posted by jimdscott - Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:45 PM
"In actuality, the above is the most awesome video ever from the single greatest rock band in history."

And the song is called Bastards of Young, not Sons of Nowhere. Whoever is writing the captions needs to listen to better music or read the text being captioned.

Posted by LoCi_X - Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:04 PM
Don't knock straightedge. I will kick your ass in and out of the mosh pit.
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Posted by oOIrrelevantOo - Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:19 PM
Straight edge is retarded.
Say 'I don't do drugs', not conform to a group of mindless girl-pant-wearing tards.
Hardcore music sucks.

Go.

Posted by Shockwave562 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:19 PM
wag: the ps3 can't epic fail every week... i think it's failing enough don't you?

Posted by kryptoid - Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:32 PM
The SXEphil commentary was done by a complete moron. This waste of sperm only watched a phil video cause it originally had a hot chick thumb and so sexed up title. WOW, Poor patty looking for porn on Youtube. I bet he had his peice ready and greased when he first saw a Phil vid. Poor poor patty. :0(

Posted by kryptoid - Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:34 PM
The SXEphil commentary was done by a complete moron. This waste of sperm only watched a phil video cause it originally had a hot chick thumb and so sexed up title. WOW, Poor patty looking for porn on Youtube. I bet he had his peice ready and greased when he first saw a Phil vid. Poor poor patty. :0(

Posted by johnsprogram - Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:43 PM
At least they didn't chose "my" youtube video.

Posted by btfosho - Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:51 PM
I just found out everyone in Iceland is dead, the whole country, everyone just died they don't know why yet

Posted by Jedihunter15 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 3:13 PM
Try reading tedcwilliams comment sounding like sXePhil.


LOL...

Posted by bobbyman128 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 3:21 PM
That phone video was the lamest.

Posted by HedgehogEmoness - Thursday, June 26, 2008 3:43 PM
WTF were these people thinking when they made these? Were they thinking: "Oh I think I'll film myself being a retard today!"

Posted by sinister6972 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 3:45 PM
Ohh yeah, my best friend Youtube, LOL!!

Posted by changbang - Thursday, June 26, 2008 3:46 PM
you g4 guys do realize, that by posting this blog you will only make the videos slightly more popular by bringing it to the attention of more people, right?

Posted by Good_Guy - Thursday, June 26, 2008 4:34 PM
sxe phil is good

Posted by Good_Guy - Thursday, June 26, 2008 4:40 PM
and for the best video on youtbe ever
i thoguth it was ok
until the end when they said draft punk sux
they're actually a pretty decent band
i think there's not too many band that do anything like that
so it's kind of refreshing to see some thing new
but at the same time it's kind of anoying to just sit in your room and listen to it
you need to like be hanging out with your freinds and to listen to it

Posted by lawnmower16 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 5:40 PM
What about all of the picture reel videos and that retarded, boring "Evolution of Dance" video?

Seriously, evolution of dance is so stupid lame boring and fail, but it is one of the most watched videos of all time.

Posted by Khal - Thursday, June 26, 2008 6:14 PM
For the video asdf. I know that game. Played it before - pretty ok for a free mmo.
It's called Rappelz. Free MMO that is like a cross mix between Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh.

Posted by kratoskiller11 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 6:54 PM
STOP F-ING STEALING OUR MEMES YOU BITCHES

Posted by video_g - Thursday, June 26, 2008 8:07 PM
Electronic burnt toast? "Epic" fail or not that was hilarious. I guess I'm just a YouTube junkie.

Posted by UnceUnce - Thursday, June 26, 2008 8:18 PM
I hate these annoying fail type videos. They get in the way of me trying to use the internet. EPIC FAIL to you bastards!!!

Posted by Nightprowler73 - Thursday, June 26, 2008 11:55 PM
sxe phil is awesome screw u guys

Posted by killsaurus_warbeard - Friday, June 27, 2008 12:08 AM
u want an epic win video go to http://vids.myspace.com/index. cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual &videoid=31057742 or google it

Posted by deleted_BC8CBE9F-08FB-46F4-B5A1-9FF5914FB98C - Friday, June 27, 2008 2:05 AM
it is awesome. i just saw a similar one on *multiraciallove.com* u may enjoy more there. So many hot singles are enjoying themselves there...

Posted by lingojac - Friday, June 27, 2008 2:49 AM
I can't believe people actually listen to 'sxephil' talk, I had to stop the video after hearing his terribly lame opening joke and maddeningly obnoxious voice. And I think that mmo video is some kinda boss battle, i'm guessing.

Posted by Shockwave562 - Friday, June 27, 2008 8:16 AM
for the guy who said evolution of dance should be an epic fail, you are one in a couple million. it's cool if you don't like it but understand that most people do and there is a good reason for it

Posted by sxephil - Friday, June 27, 2008 11:45 AM
Jealousy doesn't suit you Patrick. Yes, I have over 150,000 subscribers because of "centershots". In your words. Epic Fail.

Posted by mcface11 - Friday, June 27, 2008 11:50 AM
Patrick Roche-Sowa, Seriously whoare you and what the hell are you watching.
#1 sxephi