It's hard for a YouTube video to be a failure. The bar is really low: Throw a funny wig on yourself and speed up the audio, and the youtube masses will think you're a comedy genius. Rant about the connection between George W. Bush and the outer-space lizard conspiracy and you'll be hailed as a political commentator of the highest order.
But some youtube videos are worse than bad. They manage to transcend the poor lighting, non-existent editing, self-aggrandizement and tedium of the standard youtube offering to become epic fails. Below, please find our choices for Epic Fail: Youtube Videos.
jam with jake and tom awesome beatbox duo
Beatboxing is really hard. It's also really easy to tell who blows at it right when they start. Not only is this video about 3 minutes and 57 seconds too long, it's also atonal, arhythmic, and a waste of air. Putting awesome in the title just makes it hurt so much more.
--Ty Colfax
Best Video On YouTube Ever
It's not that the above stab at toast-related comedy is all that bad--it's merely mediocre--but the title of the video: "Best Video On Youtube Ever" builds us up for something amazing. Way to let us all down, swordsman87.
--Stephen Johnson
Any "sXePhil" video
First of all, even this guy's name is an epic fail. I know you meant your username to be "Sexy Phil" but guess what moron, sXe does not mean sexy, it means straight edge. So unless you start X'ing up your hands, staying sober, and kicking some serious ass in the pit, I suggest you change your name. Oh also, you're not sexy at all. You look like a baby that was deprived of oxygen during birth. Second, you are not funny. At all. Ever. Your attempts at comedy makes my brain feel like it's been covered in hot sauce and vinegar. Your voice is annoying, your opinions are ill-informed, and you whine more than the entire California Napa Valley.
Third, and most important, YOU STEAL HITS. The only reason why you're on any front page of YouTube is because you artificially boost your views by putting a thumbnail of a hot girl and titling the video something like "California Love". Thank god I figured out your sad game early on and always check to see if any video I'm about to click on was posted from your account, because not even Al Gore himself could force me to watch such a travesty on the wonderful gift that is the internet.
So join me, ladies and gentleman, in my campaign to force Straight Edge Phil off of YouTube. Comment on his videos, make everyone you know call him Straight Edge Phil, and if anyone out there ever sees this guy out and about at a bar enjoying a beer, just point and laugh while screaming "SELL OUT" at the top of your lungs. Maybe then he'll stop, and we can all breath a sigh of relief.
EDIT: It has come to my attention that this post angered many people. To clarify, this was a humorous post not meant to be taken serously. I don't actually want Phil off YouTube, nor do I condone verbal or physical violence against the man (the "Sell out" comment was a joke refering to him drinking alcohol when his username denotes being straight edge). So please, don't hate Phil because I told you to, and don't hate me because I don't like Phil. It's the internet kids, don't take it so seriously. Can't we all just get along?
--Patrick Roche-Sowa
asfd
This epic fail YouTube video can be diagnosed very clinically. Here, we have 8 minutes of video from an unnamed and fairly indeterminable MMO where a non-descript character and a non-descript monster battle, performing the same non-descript moves over and over again, at a boring and rather poor angle providing no real perspective on the fight. The video title is the same as the description: asdf. Clearly the author had no time to provide the most basic of description information. Also, there is no sound and the video, as of this post, has only been viewed 87 times. This is as clear cut a case of YouTube failure as we are ever likely to see.
Bonus: Name the game this came from!
--Jonathan Hunt
The Phone
Why would you take the necessary time to film and post this video? What is the meaning of all this? Someone please help to explain what’s going on here. Help!
--Michael D'Alonzo
Bonus Epic Win:
Sons of Nowhere by The Replacements
Some might think the above video for The Replacements "Bastards of the Young" is lame--it's just a 4 minute shot of a speaker-- but they're wrong. Tragically wrong. It's not lame at all; In actuality, the above is the most awesome video ever from the single greatest rock band in history.
