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The Highest People Of All-Time

Yodapollo
29 Comments

Posted April 20, 2008 - By Yodapollo

On this, the 420-est of days, we've decided to bring you a list of the highest people of all time. Sure, we haven't been able to include everyone on this list, but that's where you come in. Feel free to comment below and let us know who we forgot. And now, the Highest People of All-Time:

"The Dude" (aka Jeffrey Lebowski)

Whether you've got a rash or you're just helping your special lady friend conceive, it's always a good time for a toke if you're The Dude. As the feller says, it's comforting knowing the The Dude is out there, taking her easy for the rest of us. No doubt about it, The Dude abides.

Louis Armstrong

Though he is no longer with us, Louis Armstrong as avid user of the kind bud for "medicinal purposes". During this period of his life, he also professed the dietary benefit of laxatives, going so far as to star in a print advertisement of himself on a toilet with the slug line, "Satch says, leave it all behind ya!" While other people may have gotten higher in history, he makes the list for being able to sustain such high quality music while being as stoned as almost any person on this list.

Woody Harrelson

Somewhere between being introduced as the adorable, if dimwitted, bartender Woody on Cheers and the current movie-stardom that he now enjoys, Woody Harrelson became one of the country's most vocal supporters for the legalization of marijuana. He also once scaled the Golden Gate Bridge as part of the protest, which common sense dictates, is only possible when baked out of your mind.

Matthew McConaughey

The dude was arrested while high, naked, and beating bongo drums at 2:30 in the morning. End of line.

Willie Nelson

Willie was definitely a strong contender for the top spot on this list, as he's been stoned for so long that if he breathes on you, you get a contact high. Some theories posit that Willie's bio-diesel bus is, in actuality, a variation of the van from Cheech & Chong's Up In Smoke.

Tommy Chong

This guy is one half of the most famous pot-smoking comedy duo to ever hit the silver screen, got a bum rap for selling bongs and wrote a book in jail about it.  While he drove a van made of weed in Up In Smoke, we're pretty sure that at this point Tommy Chong is weed.  Don't forget to catch Sir Tommy's special appearance in tonight's Code Monkeys episode!

Snoop Dogg

It's hard being Snoop D-O-double G. 'Nuff said.

And Very Highest of All-Time is...

The Crew of Apollo 13

After suffering a terrible in flight malfunction that crippled their spacecraft, the crew of Apollo 13 managed to maneuver their ship around the moon and back in order to slingshot themselves back to Earth. During the death-defying trek, the crew achieved an approximate altitude of some 401,000 km, making them -- by far -- the highest people of all time.

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