TheFeed is proud to present Epic Fail, our feature that brings you the greatest failures in the world of videogames, popular culture and technology. We're not talking run-of-the-mill defeat here; Epic Fail is reserved for the top of the bottom: Grand-scale fiascos only.
This week: Numbers.
Below are the worst failures in the world of numbers.
- 2: This perennial second-place finisher is never quite good enough to get the job done.
- 69: The dirtiest of all numbers, 69 never sounds as cool as it looks to write it on paper, and its reputation has been forever tainted with a usually less-than-satisfying sexual act. By contrast, its cousin 96 is well-thought-of by all.
- Fractions/Decimals: We want our numbers to be specific. Is that too much to ask? When I i need to know how many of something there is, I want a direct, concise answer. None of this wishy-washy, "it's eight plus part of another" crap-ola.
- i : Imaginary numbers are for women and communists. If you want your numbers to help you sit by the window all day and imagine things like a little lost-dream-boy, you go right ahead. I want my numbers to help me count. Just like John Wayne.
- 82: It knows what it did.
- Sile: This is a whole number that comes between six and seven. Although it was heavily hyped in the 1980s, this perfectly cromulent digit never really caught on with the masses, although it still has a cult following.
- 13: While not a bad number in itself, its reputation for being evil caused many to shun it, and many other to get it tattooed in gothic script on their arms/chests/faces in order to appear "badass." It is not a badass number at all. It's kind of fruity, actually.
- pi: The damn thing just goes on and on! They tell me this number important in higher mathematics, geometry, algebra, engineering, etc. That's annoying enough, but when you find out that no one can ever tell how it ends, you got one epic failure of a number.