TheFeed is proud to present Epic Fail, our feature that brings you the greatest failures in the world of videogames, popular culture and technology. We're not talking run-of-the-mill defeat here; Epic Fail is reserved for the top of the bottom: Grand-scale fiascos only.
This week, Epic Fail is featuring the worst movie sequels of all time. Check it out:
- Dumb and Dumberer: In case you forgot, Dumb and Dumber was a funny Jim Carrey movie. Not a smart Jim Carrey movie or anything, but definitely funny.The sequel is a fail movie. Instead of Jim Carrey we get a lookalike (Eric Olsen) and instead of humor we get crap. The most telling moment in the film: Bob Saget yelling, "There's sh*t everywhere!" Yeah, Bob, we noticed.
- Indiana Jones And The Temple of Doom: This was a controversial choice. MDalonzo insisted that it is a terrible movie compared to the original. Everyone else was like, "Short Round was funny!" or "It was actually pretty good." But we realized no one but MDalonzo had seen it as an adult, and he assures us that we only like it because we saw it when we were eight. So we're including it here. Tell MDalonzo he's wrong if you want to. In fact, yell at him in our comments.
- (Almost) Every Horror Sequel Ever: There are probably a few good horror sequels out there, but, with the exception of The Bride of Frankenstein and Wrong Turn 2 (hi, Joe.), we can't think of a single one. The list of failures is nearly endless, however: The Ring 2, The Grudge 2, Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Poltergeist 2, Friday the 13th 2, Halloween 2, etc. etc. etc. Let's not even get into horror three-quels.
- Van Wilder: The Rise Of Taj: Okay, Van Wilder was hardly a great movie, but it had its moments. The second one doesn't have its moments. It doesn't even have its micr-seconds. It doesn't have the Van Wilder character in it, so it's not even a sequel. It's more of a spin-off. And it's painfully bad.
- The Hobbit 2: This is a prediction more than anything, but the current word on the film version of Tolkien's children's tale is it will be made into two movies, in emulation of the Lord of The Rings. Problem is, the original Hobbit is a lightweight and whimsical childrens's story as opposed to a grown-up epic, so we can only imagine the tone and intent of the original Hobbit will be lost in the idea of creating a second Lord of the Rings. We hope not, but we're not confident.
- Goonies 2: This is another conceptual entry. There is no Goonies sequel, in spite of the fact that the movie has been in development for 20 years. Goonies is one of those few movies that all-but CRIES for a sequel... the failure comes from it's non-existence. We're not going to mention Goonies 2 the videogame. It doesn't count.
- Star Wars 1, 2, and 3 : Enough time has been wasted discussing the failures of this trilogy sequel to the original Star Wars trilogy. But we'd like to add that these three movies suck. Just for the record.
- Caddyshack 2: Caddyshack was the funniest movie of all time. Caddyshack 2 will hurt your brains.
- The Matrix 2: Ugh. How could something so badass have spawned something so bad and ass?