Webmaster Hates You


Posted August 29, 2007 - By Stephen Johnson

The Webmaster Hates You is a semi-regular TheFeed feature in which we answer your email. Doesn't that sound like fun?

From: Robert XXX [mailto:robertXXXX@yahoo.com]
Posted At: Tuesday, August 28, 2007 8:39 PM 
Posted To: Webmaster G4 
Subject: Order of Tv

Hello This is Mr Robert I will like to know if you do have Plasma TV in stock for sale?I will like to know the prices and the method of payment you do acept.

And also I will like to have your contact number for more informations.

Thank you hope to hear from you.

Best Regards ROBERT....

From: Webmaster G4
 Posted At: Tuesday, August 28, 2007 8:39 PM 
Posted To:  Robert XXX [mailto:robertXXXX@yahoo.com]
Subject: Order of Tv

Mr. Roberts, we have determined that it is mathematically impossible that a person as dumb as you could be alive.

At last count there were over 17,852 retailers on the internet offering plasma televisions, and only one cable network devoted to videogames and popular culture, yet, somehow, you eschewed the obvious choices for purchasing a plasma television and instead decided to bother me. This is strike one against you.

Strike two: not only have you addressed your query to the wrong person, you also seem unable to understand the basics of how to exchange money for good and services. Even if I did want to sell you a plasma TV, do you really think I want to list out my plasma TV wares for you, individually, in an email? Don't you think that a reputable plasma TV business would have already collected and organizes price lists and payment methods and be eager to display it to any interested customers? Say in the form of a catalog or a web page that offers televisions for sale? That's how the game is traditionally played, Mr. Robert.

Strike three: You already have my  "contact number for more informations;" you wrote me an email, remember? That's the only way you will ever contact me.

I hope you never get your plasma television.

Webmaster Hates You


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