Vegans. Haughty, snobby vegans. Now, a sect of the pasty-dieted ones are refusing to sleep or exchange fluids with people who eat meat. That's just stupid. These so-called vegansexuals don't want to have sex with meat-eaters "because their bodies were made up of animal carcasses."
We at TheFeed would like to offer some advice and a public service. First, the advice. If you're going to be a vegan, keep quiet about it. We don't know anyone who likes you. You don't even like you. That's why you can't stop talking about how healthy you are and how great it is to be a vegan. Because you're afraid if you stop talking about how great it is, you'll realise how great it isn't. Snap!
Also, the public service. Anyone who has the unfortunate desire to want to sleep with a vegan and is denied because you are a meat eater, worry not. TheFeed will take care of you, if you know what we mean. Aiiiight?
The Press: Carnivore sex off the menu