Stop the entirely imaginary presses! In a breathtaking development of Newtonian proportions, it has been revealed that Drew Carey will replace Bob Barker on The Price Is Right.
After murdering Barker wtih a rusted hammer, a jubilant, blood-spattered Carey screamed "I'll spay and neuter your pets with my damn teeth!" to the international press corps.
"I'll play Plinko on all of your graves!" he did not add.
Carey will announce the move tonight on Late Night with David Letterman.
To hear the greatest Price is Right sound effect ever, click here.