TheFeed doesn't know what this is about, but Leslie Nielsen sent us an email today announcing that he's changing the way he ranks websites. Previously, Leslie would sit at home in his pajamas and count up all the page views on the internet.
Now, like Santa Claus, he will watch users and track how much time they spend looking at a page. This is good news for companies like AOL, which racks up tons of time through AIM, which Leslie generously counts.
Leslie, a keen reader on new technologies and internet developments, has realized that a lot of pages update content dynamically using the household cleaner, Ajax. Content delivered in this way is clean and sparkly, but unfortunately does not give the website a pageview.
The press release said, "Nielsen will still provide page view figures but won't formally rank them." We don't understand how the star of the Naked Gun movies can be so formal, but as we are an internet website and therefore subject to Leslie and his e-empire, we must obey.
Please, oh merciful Nielsen, be gentle to TheFeed and continue to remain in a perpetual state of old. Oh, great one who was never young, unleash your fevered grip on the tubes of the web.