Recently, we stumbled across a news story about the invitation to your Memorial Day BBQ. In it, you joked that people should "celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer" and advised women that, "There will be a scale at the door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now."
You've caught a lot of flack for this invite in the media. No one seems to get your obvious and hilarious self-effacing jokes! It's really too bad that everyone has lost their sense of humor about alcoholism, DUIs and eating disorders. These things are so funny and should be celebrated! Good for you!
After reading this creative work of genius, I have a rare and dignified opportunity to offer you.
As the acting mayor of Feedville, I'd like to invite you to contribute to TheFeed. You wouldn't have to do much. You wouldn't even have to write necessarily. You could just dictate your heinous thoughts to us and we'll put them down on paper. Why, with your anorexia jokes and TheFeed's ability to find humor in a woman microwaving her baby, we'd be the perfect team.
I know that this week has been pretty rough for you, but I want you to know that you will always have a safe haven for your vastly inappropriate humor here on TheFeed. We like you...you're like the bitchy sorority president we never had! Let's fat circle together!
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