This weekend I was falling-down drunk in New Mexico, and I thought, "Well, it's 5 AM and I lost my house in a game of 3-card monte. I think I'll just finish off this pint of wood alcohol and drive home. If I don't go blind!"
But then, when I visit the brothel's restroom, the urinal cake starts talking to me.
"Don't drink and drive, loser," the minty smelling cake told me.
I know God is everywhere, but in my urinal cake? Apparently, so I didn't drive home. I drove right to a local church and got religion. Now I'm a snake-handler.
It wasn't until I sobered up a few days later that I realized it wasn't God talking to me from the bog, it was one of 500 talking urinal cakes the state of New Mexico ordered to keep drunks from killing people with their cars. Presumably, the cakes are urine operated.
The battery powered nag-machines will be installed over the next few months in NM bars and restaraunts.
FYI: Even though they call them urinal "cakes," they don't taste delicious at all.KOAT: Talking Urinal Cakes Offer Drinking And Driving Advice