Heroic Astronaut Shoots For The Stars!


Posted February 6, 2007 - By Stephen Johnson

Oh, brave NASA Astronauts, how will you fill us with wonder next?

First you orbited our world, the only people ever able to see England and America at once; then you took Man's first halting steps on the moon, (and the first steps into our future);  and now you've driven over 900 miles with a BB-Gun, a roll of duct tape and a hunting knife in a quest to kill your romantic rival. Fly on, brave space flyer!

The heroic American hero who bravely undertook the latter mission was Shuttle and Space Station astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak, whose courage and steely determination will serve as an inspiration for us all. Nowak was carrying a new steel mallet, knife, rubber tubing and large garbage bags on her way to visit Colleen Shipman, a woman she felt was a romantic rival for the dude she liked, Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein.

Novak drove to Orlando (home of the moon launch!) fromHouston (Which had a problem!) wearing a diaper so she wouldn't have to stop the car, and eventually confronted Shipman in an airport parking lot. The brave astronaut sprayed an unnamed space-chemical in her rival's car, and then fled. Police were called and Nowak is being held on $25,000 bail to be charged with attempted murder.

Reach for the stars, space lady!

CNN: $10,000 bond set for astronaut on attempted murder charge

Heroic Astronaut Shoots For The Stars!


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